The incidence of narcissistic personality disorder is nearly three times as high for people in their 20s as for the generation that’s now 65 or older, according to the National Institutes of Health; 58% more college students scored higher on a narcissism scale in 2009 than in 1982. Millennials got so many participation trophies growing up that a recent study showed that 40% believe they should be promoted every two years, regardless of performance. They are fame-obsessed: three times as many middle school girls want to grow up to be a personal assistant to a famous person as want to be a Senator, according to a 2007 survey; four times as many would pick the assistant job over CEO of a major corporation. They’re so convinced of their own greatness that the National Study of Youth and Religion found the guiding morality of 60% of millennials in any situation is that they’ll just be able to feel what’s right. Their development is stunted: more people ages 18 to 29 live with their parents than with a spouse, according to the 2012 Clark University Poll of Emerging Adults. And they are lazy. In 1992, the nonprofit Families and Work Institute reported that 80% of people under 23 wanted to one day have a job with greater responsibility; 10 years later, only 60% did.
Time Magazine
May 20th 2013
For the refuah of Chaya Yocheved Feige bas Michal Yehudis Basya bi-soch shear cholei Yisroel and for Moshe Yehuda ben Pesha Dina for alllllllllllllllll the brachos.
SHHHHHHHHAAAAAALLOOM SWWWEEEEEETEST FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!
In this week's parsha we read of the historic meeting between Yaakov and Esav. At the end, Esav suggests that they travel together. "נסעה ונלכה ואלכה לנגדך" - We will travel together and I will go at your pace. Maybe Yaakov understands the לנגדך as AGAINST you b/c Esav is NOT a dude who can be trusted. [He was the one who said that after Yitzchak dies he will kill Yaakov...].
So Yaakov says OH SO POLITELY:
יַעֲבׇר־נָ֥א אֲדֹנִ֖י לִפְנֵ֣י עַבְדּ֑וֹ וַאֲנִ֞י אֶֽתְנָהֲלָ֣ה לְאִטִּ֗י לְרֶ֨גֶל הַמְּלָאכָ֤ה אֲשֶׁר־לְפָנַי֙ וּלְרֶ֣גֶל הַיְלָדִ֔ים עַ֛ד אֲשֶׁר־אָבֹ֥א אֶל־אֲדֹנִ֖י שֵׂעִֽירָה׃
Let my master go on ahead of his servant, while I travel slowly, at the pace of the cattle before me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my master in Seir.”
"OK - we'll meet in Seir. Whatsapp me and we'll do lunch at the Seir Hilton."
Nu - when did that ever happen?? Look through the whole Chumash and you won't find it. It NEVER happened!!! No Whatsapp. No lunch. No Hilton.
Says Rashi: Yaakov was referring to the END OF DAYS when Hashem will judge Esav. ועלו מושיעים בהר ציון לשפוט את הר עשו. THEN we'll meet!!
Interesting!!! Yaakov says that we will meet and refers to a meeting that will take place FIVE THOUSAND YEARS LATER!!
I call the doctor for an appointment and the secretary says "Tuesday at 9:30am".
"Which Tuesday", I ask [innocently].
"Oh" - she answers - "Tuesday March 16th in the year 3,133."
"Ok - I will write that down on my calendar. What is your address?"
Elsewhere we also find Yaakov looking into the future. When he sees his future kallah Rochel he kisses her and he cries. Why is he kissing and why is he crying? Well, this was not CHAS VI-SHALOM an empty, capricious "romantic kiss" b/c he was also crying [Malbim]. He cried, explains Rashi, b/c he saw that he won't be buried with Rochel.
Slow down!!! You are already "holding" by Rochel's death??? She is still very young. That won't happen for a long time!!!
For Yaakov - the future was now.
We read that Yaakov says to Lavan
Says Rashi: Yaakov was referring to the END OF DAYS when Hashem will judge Esav. ועלו מושיעים בהר ציון לשפוט את הר עשו. THEN we'll meet!!
Interesting!!! Yaakov says that we will meet and refers to a meeting that will take place FIVE THOUSAND YEARS LATER!!
I call the doctor for an appointment and the secretary says "Tuesday at 9:30am".
"Which Tuesday", I ask [innocently].
"Oh" - she answers - "Tuesday March 16th in the year 3,133."
"Ok - I will write that down on my calendar. What is your address?"
Elsewhere we also find Yaakov looking into the future. When he sees his future kallah Rochel he kisses her and he cries. Why is he kissing and why is he crying? Well, this was not CHAS VI-SHALOM an empty, capricious "romantic kiss" b/c he was also crying [Malbim]. He cried, explains Rashi, b/c he saw that he won't be buried with Rochel.
Slow down!!! You are already "holding" by Rochel's death??? She is still very young. That won't happen for a long time!!!
For Yaakov - the future was now.
We read that Yaakov says to Lavan
הָבָה אֶת אִשְׁתִּי כִּי מָלְאוּ יָמָי וְאָבוֹאָה אֵלֶיהָ
Give me my wife b/c my time has been fulfilled that I may ...... with her. Rashi is like - even the most CRUDE, unrefined people don't speak that way. We ALL know that there are things that we THINK but have enough of a sense of shame not to SAY out loud [Tank G-d for dat!!!!] ..... Yet here Yaakov says to his shver shver [who was a "person of color". His color happened to have been white. He led the "White Lives Matter" movement. WLM. He tried to defund Yaakov b/c he didn't like Sefardim from Israel] "give me my wife so that I may ...."
OY VEY!!!! Like they say in French "Pas Nicht" [which ALSO means that I don't want bread. Or French Toast for that matter. I once went to a restaurant that advertised "breakfast any time" so I ordered a French Toast from the Renaissance].
Says Rashi: What he MEANT was that he is 84 years old and he has been in the Lakewood-esque "freezer" all these years [in Shem and Ever's Yeshiva where Yaakov learned the rule was that first you must learn 14 years and only then date]. Now he wanted to establish the 12 tribes. One doesn't have to have a PhD in biology to know that there is only ONE way for that to happen. So THAT is what Yaakov meant. Not Chas Vi-shalom what it might sound like on the surface.
In other words - it is not about the here and now but about building the eternal people of Israel!!!
The common theme we see is that Yaakov wasn't just focused on the moment. He was of course "in the moment" [that is how the seven years he worked for Rochel were like a few days. When one is "in the zone"- time passes fast] but understood that this moment will impact history!!!!
[Off the topic but related: I recently swallowed my watch. It was a VERY time consuming endeavor!!! ]
His very name was יעקב. The עקב part is b/c he was holding on to his brother's heel [עקב] when they were born. So call him "עקב"??!!! Why "יעקב"?
No!! Yaakov is all about the future. The letter "י" at the beginning of a word makes it future tense [thanks dikduk teacher in MDS!!!!]. He was a man who always had the future - even the very distant future - in mind.
The Gemara says that Yaakov Avinu never died. No - the Gemara didn't confuse him with a famous Rebbe from Crown Heights. The Gemara explains that just as his seed [i.e. us] is alive - so is he. When you live for the future - your seed is so much part of you that you are considered eternally alive!!!!
Yaakov was able to look at the future and see it clearly in front of his eyes as the present. What a LESSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We live in a generation where there is a very strong emphasis on individualism, doing what feels good, what I want. The "ME" generation. The "selfie" generation. It is all about the "me and now". Example: I am married and not excited about her anymore? I will find someone more exciting. What about the children? Not my problem.
People make decisions w/o thinking "how is this going to affect the future generations??" All that matters is me and now.
A Jew must say - How is this decision going to impact my grandchildren and further beyond? How is it going to affect world history??!! How is it going to affect global warming, relations with China and Russia, gas and oil prices, whether there will be an elaborate Kiddush in shul on Shabbos, bumper to bumper traffic in the Lincoln tunnel etc. etc. etc. This is NO joke [even though it sure sounds like one]!
Take my grandfather ע"ה as a f'rinstance.. He came to the US in the early 1940's with his four small sons and decided that he is going to remain observant. This was not the fashionable thing to do AT ALL [unlike wearing gloves to fancy events which was very fashionable]. For example: There were 700k Jews in the Bronx and barely any of them were fully observant. This is America. Here it is all about moneyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!! The Ten Commandments 1. Make money. 2. Make lots of money. 3. Then make even more money. 4. Make Forbes 400 money. 5. Time is life and life is money. 6. Thou shalt not avoid financial gain. 7. You get the idea. So gooooodbye Shabbos!! So many of those Jews have non-Jewish descendants, nebuch. My grandfather has dozens and dozens of frum descendants and counting Baruch Hashem [at all times a few on the way]!! All b/c of a decision he made about 80 years ago under very difficult circumstances.
We too have the choice. Are we going to make decisions based on what feels good now or based on what will benefit all of the future generations [and ourselves after 120 and even later on in life. Like - if I eat this now I will get fatter later. Is it worth it?]!!!
Let us be WISE. איזהו חכם? הרואה את הנולד. We must have foresight [if you wear glasses we have "foursight"]!!!
May we all have a FORWARD-LOOKING Shabbos of Bliss!!!!
Much love to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS - Lots of new and old Shiurim on the parsha!!!
Take my grandfather ע"ה as a f'rinstance.. He came to the US in the early 1940's with his four small sons and decided that he is going to remain observant. This was not the fashionable thing to do AT ALL [unlike wearing gloves to fancy events which was very fashionable]. For example: There were 700k Jews in the Bronx and barely any of them were fully observant. This is America. Here it is all about moneyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!! The Ten Commandments 1. Make money. 2. Make lots of money. 3. Then make even more money. 4. Make Forbes 400 money. 5. Time is life and life is money. 6. Thou shalt not avoid financial gain. 7. You get the idea. So gooooodbye Shabbos!! So many of those Jews have non-Jewish descendants, nebuch. My grandfather has dozens and dozens of frum descendants and counting Baruch Hashem [at all times a few on the way]!! All b/c of a decision he made about 80 years ago under very difficult circumstances.
We too have the choice. Are we going to make decisions based on what feels good now or based on what will benefit all of the future generations [and ourselves after 120 and even later on in life. Like - if I eat this now I will get fatter later. Is it worth it?]!!!
Let us be WISE. איזהו חכם? הרואה את הנולד. We must have foresight [if you wear glasses we have "foursight"]!!!
May we all have a FORWARD-LOOKING Shabbos of Bliss!!!!
Much love to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS - Lots of new and old Shiurim on the parsha!!!
