לזכות הרה"ג ר' אליעזר זאב בן דבורה וכל בני ביתו
My-se she-haya: A shadchan sets up a couple and things are advancing nicely. Then a fellow we will call Mr. Cohen from England comes to him looking for a shidduch for his son and offers BIG BUCKS. The shadchan, being the rotten person he is [:-)] tells each side of the present shidduch that the other side isn't interested. Nu - not interested not interested. Then the shadchan goes back to Mr. Cohen and tells him that he has a GREAT girl for his son.
Alas, they meet and, as they say in Hebrew - זה לא זה. No shidduch.
The plot thickens. The original couple gets wind of what the shadchan had done and get back together. Things go well and - ENGAGED.
Now the shadchan comes and says to the families "You owe me money. I set the kids up".
What is the Halacha?
One Rav was asked about this and said "צריך לזרוק אותו מכל המדריגות". A very delicate way of saying that he deserves no pay for his "honesty and kindness".
But lets see:
The poskim [מובאים בפתחי תשובה קפ"ה ג] list three jobs of the shadchan, all of which create a financial obligation on those who benefit:
1] The starter: He makes the suggestion.
2] The middle man: He deals with the money and other negotiations.
3] Finisher: Like that dependable relief pitcher in the 9th inning [of the same name], he closes up all loose ends and brings it to a close. [In the 80's he was called "Jesse Orosco"].
Each one gets a third of the shadchan's gelt. If there is ONLY a starter - then he gets the whole thing.
In our case - this shadchan was the starter and there was nobody else so he should get the entire sum.
But one can argue that he UPROOTED the shidduch he started so he gets nothing. But the truth is that the shidduch only happened because of his idea.
On the other hand - the families of the couple that brought them back together were the "finishers" without whom the shidduch also wouldn't have happened.
So apparently the shadchen deserves not the whole sum but half. But since he was such a jerk and broke the couple up - they should make a compromise and give him something.
Our emotions tell us he deserves nothing but logic and halacha would seem to dictate otherwise.
[עפ"י דברי הרב ישראל ארנון שליט"א]
