Sunday, December 11, 2016

Forbidden Speech And Permitted Speech

For the zchus of a Jew who is in tremendous distress. Yeshuos for him and everyone else who needs a yeshua!!

An interesting anomaly....

Nobody talks between netilas yodaim and hamotzi. Even really "modern people". I have been to countless shabbos tables and nobody talks. Silence until the hamotzi bread is consumed. What people don't know is that it is not the biggest deal to talk. The gemara [Brachos 42] says תיכף לנטילה ברכה - right after the netila one should make the bracha. What netila and what bracha??

Some rishonim understand  that it refers to mayim ACHARONIM and bentching. Meaning that right after washing mayim acharonim one should bentch but after washing at the beginning of the meal one may interrupt. Other rishonim say that it is referring to netilas yodaim at the beginning of the meal and hamotzi. The Shulchan Aruch [166] cites both opinions and concludes וטוב ליזהר - It is good to be careful and not interrupt after washing for bread until eating. 

Rav Dahvid Yosef, the son of Rav Ovadiah ztz"l wrote a sefer called Orchot Maran, where he details the halachic behaviors of his father with extensive sources and discussions. In Vol. 2 [page 159] he relates that his father would speak after netilas yadaim if there was any good reason. 

YET - there is NO opinion that one is permitted to speak lashon hara and yet almost everybody does. And if he doesn't - then he hears it or reads it. "Frum" websites which have disclaimers saying that no lashon hara will be allowed on their site are FILLED with lashon hara. I just went to one to see how many people go there - according to the hit counter, over 42 THOUSAND in the last seven days alone. The author wears a black hat and presumably many of the people visiting do as well. People are THIRSTY for lashon hara. The lashon hara sites are incredibly popular. Why aren't we as careful about lashon hara as we are not to talk after netilas yadaim. Lashon hara has 17 lo taasehs, 14 asehs and 3 arurs [curses], potentially??

It seems like nobody is watching when we read this filth, but I PROMISE - Somebody very important is. Don't be fooled by black hats, and frum sounding names and important credentials. Lashon hara is lashon hara and it kills, regardless of who says it. 

One may say - it is for toeles [benefit] and is therefore permitted. 

The Chofetz Chaim says that there are 7 conditions. Let's see:

1] The speaker must have witnessed the incident himself, rather than knowing about it from rumor. (If he has only heard about the incident, then he must verify its authenticity firsthand.)

2] The speaker should reflect thoroughly, not hastily concluding something is theft or damage or any other offense, that the action in question is truly a violation according to halacha.
3] The speaker should first approach the transgressor privately, and rebuke him with gentle language (such that the transgressor would be inclined to listen), because perhaps this can have an impact and inspire the person to improve his ways. If the transgressor does not listen, then the speaker should alert the public of the individual’s guilt.
4] The description of the sin should not be exaggerated [for “effect” or any other reason].
5] The speaker must have pure intentions (“to’eles,” lit. “purpose”). The speaker should not – Heaven forbid – enjoy his friend’s (the transgressor’s) disgrace, nor act out of a previous hatred he felt for the person.
6] If the purpose of speaking the Lashon Hara (e.g. causing the sinner to repent, warning the community to stay away from such activity) can be achieved in another way rather than speaking Lashon Hara, it is forbidden to speak Lashon Hara.
7] By speaking Lashon Hara, the transgressor should not be caused more damage than would be appropriate as determined by a court of Jewish law reviewing the case. This is discussed in detail in Hilchos Rechilus chapter nine. [An example would be if a thief would be obligated to repay the victim $100, but Lashon Hara caused him damages of $500.] [Copied from]

So sweet friends - let's be mischazeik together and avoid all poisonous speech and writing.