People are happy for one basic reason - because they have happy thoughts.
People are unhappy for one basic reason - because they have unhappy thoughts.
Reality is neutral. What matters is the INTERPRETATION that we give to our reality.
A person can be in a fancy hotel and be happy or miserable. He can think happy thoughts: "I am alive, I am eating delicious food, I am with my family, I am rich etc. etc. etc."
Or unhappy thoughts: "For this I am paying 300 dollars a night? The food is terrible! I hate my job! My wife is really annoying - why is she so hyper-sensitive? Why can't she accept an apology? Why does she keep spending money on things that she doesn't need?! What is going to be with my daughter - she is doing terrible in school. Does she have learning disabilities? And what my son - he has been sick recently. Is it going to develop into something life threatening? If he dies my life will be ruined FOREVER. Oh do I miss my bubby. I am sooooo sad that she died [10 years ago]." And the list goes on.
So two people are enjoying the BEAUTIFUL BLUE SKY and sun of Miami Beach - one is filled with joy and the other is miserable. If being in Miami Beach MAKES one happy then how can this be? The answer is that being ANYWHERE doesn't MAKE one happy. Happiness is in the mind. A person thinks positive thoughts - he or she is happy. Negative thoughts - sad. [External reality can HELP contribute to one's thoughts and feeling but are not the final determining factor].
Some people [particularly women] think that if they would only be thin, they would be happy. Bad news - I have been thin every second of my life [although I am not a woman, but still - I have a girl's name] and I have been miserable PLENTY of times. So being skinny doesn't do it.
Some people are CONVINCED that if they become rich, they will be happy. Also false. There are COUNTLESS people who have FAAAAAR more money than you do who are completely miserable. Rich people kill themselves all the time.
Happiness comes from the thoughts in your mind.
Why don't we realize this? Because we are brainwashed!!! You see an advertisement which essentially promises you happiness if you purchase this item. You have to combat this and say [aloud is better:-)] "I can be happy WITHOUT this new smartphone". "I can be JUST AS HAPPY spending Pesach at home as I do spending Pesach with Shwekey in Vallarta!!"
You can buy the phone [well - it depends which Rav you ask...] but don't think for a second that it will MAKE you happy. Maybe when you buy it you will TELL YOURSELF how GREAT it is to have this smartphone and you will be happy for a few minutes - but it won't last. Unless you CONTINUOUSLY tell yourself how happy you are that you have this smartphone. However, you will stop believing that thought after a while and if you don't believe the thought you again won't be happy.
You can also go with Shwekey to Vallarta for Pesach and maybe you will have a GREAT TIME. But it is NOT the trip to Vallarta that made you happy but YOUR THOUGHTS about it.
So stop buying into the plethora of ads you see. NONE OF THEIR PRODUCTS will MAKE you happy. They just want your money and manipulate you into coughing it up by convincing you that it will make you happy to purchase this product.
So remember - HAPPINESS IS A FUNCTION OF ONE'S THOUGHTS THAT CREATE EMOTIONS.
