He wrote the following letter in his own handwriting that was on the web...
היות ונתעורר כמה טענות אודותי בעניני יעוץ לשלום [בית] החלטתי לטובתי למשוך ידי ממשרות ציבורית שמחוץ לבית מדרשי, ובעזהשי”ת אמשיך להרביץ תורה תמידין כסדרן בסיעתא דשמיא
ה’ כסלו תשע”ג
מקום החותם
“Since several complaints have arisen against me relating to marriage counselling I have decided in my interest to withdraw from public positions beyond my beis hamedresh, and please God I will continue to teach Torah in regular shiurim with the help of Above.
5 Kislev 5773
[signature]”
Did he do it? I don't know. But that is not relevant to us right now. I want to talk about the bigger question of seemingly great people who fall very low. As we know there is a Rov in Eretz Yisrael who was nothing less than the most popular Rov in the whole country, I exaggerate not. He was on TV and the radio and not only did religious people worship the ground he walked on but even many non-religious people were spellbound by his shiurim, charisma and depth. He spoke with passion and power and pathos and often broke new ground in his profound understanding of Torah. Then he was accused of doing some really disgusting things. Really disgusting. This was nothing less than traumatic for so many of his followers, particularly the youthful ones who saw him as their role model in life. He is now out of the public eye and his life is effectively over.
A letter from one of the followers of the English Rov that was on line:
This conclusion is nothing short of devastating. Our kehilla has been destroyed. The Rov was our life, he was why we all joined, and why we all stayed. We have prided ourselves on being a cut above the rest, belonging to a special shul and being loyal to a rov who demanded that we set the bar higher than the average GG baalebos - shiurim, tznius, tefillah. Now the whole thing has come tumbling down.
What do we do? Do we stay in a shul that has a rov whose flaws are too embarrassing to even discuss? How will this affect our children, who grew up in the shul? If we leave, where can we go? No shul is like ours - that was why we belonged! We must be a complete laughing stock!
I could never say this to him to his face, but here on a blog, under the cover of anonymity I can ask our rov - how could you have done this to us? How could you mess up so badly that all of us in your kehilla have been damaged by your actions? What were you thinking? Don't you think you owe us an explanation?
I, and others in the kehilla, are too shocked to be angry. We are so invested in our rov, we cannot even deal with this story. To his face we are pretending "business as usual", but inside we are in turmoil.
Hashem yeracheim aleinu!
This is my mehalech and two cents: People have different sides to them. We all do. We all have a good, holy and pure side and we all have a more base, selfish, narcissistic side. One side doesn't cancel out the other. Most of us don't have it to such an extreme. The expressions of the good and not-so-good are within certain limits. We daven but not exactly with the intensity of the Chafetz Chaim, we learn but not exactly with the hasmada of Rav Chaim Kniyevsky. Our faults are also within limits. If you are a guy, chances are that within the last 24 hours you have had a thought and or seen something that is forbidden according to Jewish law. The gemara says that just about everybody does. You probably feel jealousy/anger/impatience etc. etc. from time to time. You have probably doubted Hashem in your life as well. These aren't beautiful middos and thoughts of which we are proud.
So in a sense, we too are guilty of a certain level of unfaithfulness and at times hypocrisy. OF COURSE it is not to such an extreme as we find in the aforementioned examples [assuming that the accusations are true] but in a more moderate way we too are guilty.
So what is the correct approach? I believe we all need to introspect and find our inconsistencies and fix them. It is not always comfortable but the rewards are great. There is so much room for growth and so much to explain but I don't feel that I can properly convey what I mean within the scope of this post. If I am ever zoche to have my own yeshiva or kollel I will hopefully try to transmit my understanding. It is not a short easy path but a minefield. If one successfully gets across and really changes [as opposed to most people who, frankly, don't change very much, certainly in their adult years. With kids there is more hope] he is a modern day hero.
Another thought: Some people are really sick and delusional. I personally know two such people. Rabbis who have learned and taught a lot of Torah who are in my humble opinion, reshaim. Sick, delusional reshaim. Why are only people from the general population allowed to be sick but not Rabbanim? Sickness doesn't discriminate and some people who have a talent for learning and teaching and strong religious predilections can also be mentally ill. We should never make the mistake made by so many to confuse Judaism with Jews. The Torah is complete shalom and pleasantness - דרכיה דרכי נועם וכל נתיבותיה שלום [see the Rambam at the end of hilchos chanuka] but some of its partial practitioners are not living up to its principles. That is tragic and a chillul Hashem but it is the reality.
Our job is not to engage in speculation about what did or didn't happen but to know that the yeter hara is a tricky character and tries to get ALL of us.
The answer: A lot of mussar, chassidus, gemera [preferably bi-iyun], a true tzaddik as a guide and many tefillos that we shouldn't fall.
Love, blessings and many we be constantly mischazek and be mechazek others to climb the ladder leading to Hashem.
אורח חיים למעלה למשכיל למען סור משאול מטה
PS - People sometimes misread my intentions, so I want to clarify. I am NOT and would NEVER defend the actions of someone who hurt another human being in any way. Evil is evil regardless of the perpetrator and his position in life and on the contrary, the greater the individual, the higher our expectations. אוהבי השם שנאו רע.
