Who Am I?

How do people view their possessions? Many people IDENTIFY with their possessions. They ARE their house. They ARE their car. When someone comes collecting money for a worthy cause such people feel as if they are being asked "PLEASE give me your pancreas." Or "Please cut out part of your liver and hand it over." This is understandably difficult. Would YOU want to give up a limb or two?

When people HAVE possessions they can't REALLY be happy because deeeep down they know that the material wealth is NOT really part of them but something completely external. They also enjoy it to a certain extent because in their world of imagination they envision themselves as "expanded" beings. I am "worth" 500 million  dollars. When I buy a new car I am not just a person with one car but with two. "Aren't I big, a house [presently being renovated and enlarged] with TWO cars and a vast financial portfolio [ask my investor]." The more I expand financially the more my ego and sense of self worth increase. GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE:-). However as I mentioned, material possessions are really NOT me so it is all my imagination. 

When I LOSE my car or house [G-d forbid] I then feel that part of ME has died. That is extremely distressing.

What we are aiming for is to enhance your ESSENTIAL SELF. The real, true, emes-dike you. That means improving on any middah, broadening your knowledge of G-d's word or expanding your consciousness. That is REALLY you and lasts FOREVER.

I can't help but be reminded of a blog from a fortnight ago [I haven't the foggiest how long a fortnight is:-)].

After I cracked my computer screen the other day I managed to lose my i-river on which I recorded over 1500 shiurim. And my earphones. They were in the carrying case that normally holds my computer so it was a package deal.

I unfortunately didn't mange to feel particularly badly. Firstly - It is a gift from haShem. Why be upset when you receive a gift?? Second - I couldn't help but think about the philosopher Diogenes. Diogenes, we are told, was a man who lived happily with the barest of necessities. He didn't lack because he didn't need. He lived in a pit in the ground.

One day as he sat in his pit one of his loving students said to his teacher "I will get you whatever you want!"

"Anything?" inquired Diogenes.

"Anything!" the student answered emphatically.

"Ok, can you move aside. You are standing in my sunlight..."

Another time all of his writings were burned in a fire. He exclaimed with derision, "Of what value can something be if it can be destroyed by a mere fire."

I love people. Torah. HaShem. Things? Shmings!! I see my connection to things as a remnant of my childhood that I must grow out of. [Ending a sentence with the word "of" is probably against the rules of grammar. Sadly, my high school grammar teacher is dead so nobody really cares anymore. May her neshama have an aliyah.]

Now I just have to convince my yetzer hara that he is being childish...

People need shelter. People need automobiles. Those who lost their possessions should be helped to be restored to their former states of comfort. BUT, if a person lost his car he doesn't have to feel that he lost part of himself. I am not my car. I am an eternal soul and my car is a temporary means to get me across the bridge. I am a piece of G-d and my house is a way to enable me to fulfill my purpose on earth.

May Hashem help everyone through this difficult time and as the Rosh Yeshiva of Merkaz HaRav said, maybe this will help people come back to Yerushalayim. 

[Based on Rav Dessler's Kuntres Hachesed and a drasha my beloved friend R' Y.E.J. told me was said over Shabbos.]