Many many years ago, I met a family and was asked my name. I said "Ally" [apparently, when I was a little, little yingel, I couldn't pronounce "Allan" so I called myself "Ally" and it stuck]. They were not happy with that response. So they asked me what my real name was. I said "Allan".
Since then, they [and everyone I know through them] has been calling me Allan.
This doesn't bother me [even though I lied b/c my real name is actually "Elchonon":-)]. But it DOES make me think that their response indicated a lack of respect. Someone introduces themself with a certain name and you decide that you don't want to call the person what he wants to be called is not respectful. They CERTAINLY don't mean to be disrespectful. But that is my point. There are so many things we do or don't do that display respect or the opposite W/O US EVEN REALIZING IT.
When I was a teenager, I knew a girl named Jennifer. One day Jennifer decided that she wants to be called "Jasmine" and made the announcement. That was IT. "Jasmine" she became. We thought it was part funny - part weird [maybe also because the girl herself was more than a part weird]. But she was respected.
What we have to do is think of the myriad of ways we can show people respect and refrain from the opposite. Even if you don't agree with my analysis of this particular story, you can surely think of ways in which people show disrespect w/o even realizing it.
One other example is mask wearing. B"H we are now vaccinated, But until now, even if a person thought that masks were absolutely ridiculous, it was a sign of respect to others who felt differently to wear a mask. Sadly, many many many people didn't make this cheshbon, resulting in a mammoth chilul Hashem, a million times squared. They broadcasted "I don't care what you [or virtually the entire medical establishment] think. I don't want to wear a mask." That hurts. And the pain lingers for many....
