“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”
SHAAAALOOOMMMMM SWEEEETESTTTT FRIENDSSSSSS!!!!!!!
In this week's Parsha we talk about the laws of vows. The law that a wise man can revoke a vow is not explicit in the psukim but rather merely alluded to - לא יחל דברו - HE may not revoke the vow but others may - אחרים מוחלין לו. Why is something so important not explicit in the pasuk?
Chazal say that the revoking of vows [היתר נדרים] is like a tower hanging in the air with nothing to rely upon [כמגדל הפורח באויר ואין להם על מה שיסמוכו]. This could be an allusion to TESHUVA about which it says אין לנו להשען אלא על אבינו שבשמים - we have nobody to rely upon but Hashem. Sometimes we do aveiros and feel sooooooooooooo faaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr. There is no hope! We are lost! Finished. Over. The proverbial fat lady has sung. So we turn to Hashem and say "YOU can bring us back!!!" The mechanics of revoking vows and Teshuva are the same. Regret. Once we express regret the vow is uprooted as is the bad deed. In both cases we need to feel that there is nothing to rely on.
There is no explicit pasuk abt. revoking vows. It is very vague and unclear. We turn to the wise man and he does the job for us. So too Teshuva, we have nothing and nobody to rely upon. Just the Aibishter!!! הוא אינו מיחל says the Gemara - he can't do the job himself. He just turns to Hashem with a bitter feeling about his failing/s and אחרים מוחלים לו - Hashem will uproot the evil deed. [Based on the Toras Emes of R' Leibel'e Eiger ztz"l]
How do you uproot the past? It happened already? Simple! You turn to the One who is above and not at all bound by time!!! HE can do the trick!!
This Shabbos is Rosh Chodesh Av. Why is Av before the month of Teshuva and Selichos - Elul?
Since I am Jewish [as are my children Baruch Hashem!!!! So coincidentally, is my mother!!!], I will answer a question with a question. When do people change?? Change is HARD!!!
“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.” ― Katharine Hepburn, Me: Stories of My Life
People resolve to change when they are suffering from their present situation more than they will suffer from changing. First, a person must appreciate what a mess he has gotten him/herself into and then he/she will be ready to step out of his/her comfort zone and take steps to change things.
“Don’t confuse poor decision-making with destiny. Own your mistakes. It’s ok; we all make them. Learn from them so they can empower you!”
Av is the month of Churban - destruction. In Av we see what happens when we are distant from Hashem and we sin. Once we see the consequences, we openly welcome an Elul where we can start fixing things!! So the Teshuva process really begins in Av!!!!
How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But it must WANT to change.
"Av"- means Father. We return to our Father b/c we realize that it isn't the Goyim who are guilty or our mother-in-law or our boss or anyone else but OURSELVES!!! The punishments were meted out by our loving Father with the express purpose that we return!!!
May we merit a Shabbos of Teshuva, introspection and elevation!!!
Much love,
Me
