AVAILABLE!!

Fox News' Tucker Carlson and CNN's Don Lemon have both been relieved of their duties, so ostensibly they are both available for Scholar in Residence opportunities at your local shul. So if you are right wing [with a shtikel White Supremacy leanings and complete disdain for the entire establishment] then Tucker is your guy. If you are left of left [and think Homosexuals should be proud and celebrated] then Don is your guy. If you want to make things exciting - schedule a debate. 

"Motzei Shabbos EXTRAVAGANZA!!! Has the left gone off  the deep end or is the right a bunch of facist Nazis? Hear two deposed multi millionaire newscaster/pundits fight it out. No-holds barred. Racist and Homophobic remarks and taunts welcome." 🤣🤣🤣 

I will happily open with my comedy act. The Homowack cancelled my recent invitation. The Catskill comedy industry is at an all time low. So I too am available. Plus I can add a dvar Torah at the end. I don't know much but I can repeat my Bar Mitzvah speech. 

You might be saying "Shouldn't 'Scholars in Residence' be scholars??" True. But I have seen shuls who specialize in inviting such great "scholars" as army generals, Israeli politicians, women rabba's [and barely frum if frum at all academics] - so it is not so far fetched to invite Tucker And Lemon.