Sunday, January 22, 2017

A Marriage Secret You Can Use Today And EVERY Day!

The kitzur of a drasha at a sheva brachos - without the humor and other embellishments [for that "ya had to be there..."].

1] What is the secret of the revelation at the burning bush?

2] There are two psukim about Yaakov being given a new name. One is given by a malach:

וַיֹּֽאמֶר־ל֥וֹ אֱלֹהִ֖ים שִׁמְךָ֣ יַעֲקֹ֑ב לֹֽא־יִקָּרֵא֩ שִׁמְךָ֨ ע֜וֹד יַעֲקֹ֗ב כִּ֤י אִם־יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ יִהְיֶ֣ה שְׁמֶ֔ךָ יִּקְרָ֥א אֶת־שְׁמ֖וֹ יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃

Here his new name Yisrael is given by the malach because of something he did.

Afterwards Hashem says: 

וַיֹּאמֶר לוֹ אֱלֹהִים שִׁמְךָ יַעֲקֹב לֹא יִקָּרֵא שִׁמְךָ עוֹד יַעֲקֹב כִּי אִם יִשְׂרָאֵל יִהְיֶה שְׁמֶךָ וַיִּקְרָא אֶת שְׁמוֹ יִשְׂרָאֵל.

Here the name of Yisrael is given by Hashem without mentioning any event.

Why the two new name callings?

3] Explains Rav Yankev Moshe ztz"l: There is a Yisrael that is a notch above Yaakov given by the Malach. Then there is the Yisrael given by Hashem who is is in a class all by itself. Hashem is beyond this world and so is the שם ישראל he gave. It is not connected to any event but is inherent. 

4] At the sneh, Moshe wondered how the Jews are being burned but never consumed? What is the secret of their survival? Hashem tells him to take off his shoe [the כלי for his foot] because he has no כלים to understand this mystery. This is a holy place and the Jews are a holy people [מהר"ל - קדוש פי' נבדל], beyond the understanding of the human mind and exceeding all materialistic explanations. Moshe then covered his face in order not to see because this was something beyond what the human being can see and to look might be dangerous. 

5] One can view a spouse two ways: One is comparative to others. Even if the spouse comes out on top, s/he is still in their league. Another way is that the spouse is in his/her own category. There is nobody so special in the world. Nobody even compares. כשמחך יצרך בגן עדן - In Gan Eden there was NOBODY ELSE. NO COMPETITION. That is the way the spouse should be made to feel every day. 

6] That is what we say under the chuppah - הרי את מקודשת לי. Tosfos says [Kiddushin 2b] that this means מיוחדת לי - special to me. Nobody like you. 

7] We all want to feel special but who is going to take the trouble to make us feel that we are indispensable and that there is nobody like us on earth [besides our mother's....]?? 

That is the job of the spouse.

8] I bless the Chosson and Kallah that they should make each other feel special every day of their lives and given the fact that their good middos are so glaring and obvious for all to see - the job shouldn't be difficult.

Good shabbos:-). 

[Cries of "Shkoyach" rang out but I am not sure if they were for what I said or because I finally finished....]