Help The Needy - Yourself

On one hand we all need other people. Nobody wants to be single for life so we all need a spouse. Everybody wants children and friends and people for whom to care and love and who care and love them in return. This can make a person NEEDY.

Nobody wants to be needy.

But we all are.

A conundrum.

I have to think about it more but this is what occurred to me. We have to find a balance between needing people and being completely independent. This means that we can never allow our moods and emotions to be controlled by others and the way they relate to us. We can never allow our self worth be determined by the way others treat us. We cannot allow ourselves to point to a person and say that unless he/she shows me love in the way I need it to be shown, I will be unhappy.

We can say that when my spouse expresses warmth to me it makes me feel good. We can say that when our children respect, obey and love us it makes us feel that we are doing a good job as a parent. We can say that when so and so is friendly it helps us feel more connected to that person.

But we may not allow others, with all of their idiosyncrasies, mishgossim, character flaws and inadequacies, to determine whether or not I will be a happy person. That means giving others far more power over you than they deserve.

A gedank [thought] from someone who has been hurt by people to whom he generously gave far too much power over him. May you all learn from my mistakes:).