לע"נ הרב יעקב שלמה בן ר' דב בער
It is a terrible, terrible tragedy. A young woman, born and raised as a Belzer Chasida, went off the derech and chose to live a secular lifestyle. She recently committed [what appears to be] suicide. It is terribly sad for her parents and really for all of Klal Yisrael.
I don't know the details of the case. I don't know if she suffered from mental illness. I don't know how her family reacted to her decision to leave the path of Torah. I know nothing and even if I did I would not judge because there is only one judge. But I would like to relate to this phenomenon in general as it pertains to Tisha B'av.
It is actually not rare at all that people who go off the derech commit suicide. The organization "Beit Hillel" [which helps people who have gone off the derech or who are already off, adapt to secular society - Hillel would not be happy that they are using his name....] is trying to deal with and curtail the problem.
We live in a world with rules. There are rules of nature, societal rules, school rules, home rules etc. etc. Nobody is FORCED to keep the rules but if they choose not to they will suffer the consequences. If someone doesn't exercise, eats a fatty-fast-food-lots-of-beer-and-chips-and-pizza-and-caffeine-diet and smokes three packs a day - he will have to pay a price. He didn't follow the rules. He will probably get sick and die young. So is life [and death].
If someone cuts class, cheats on tests, beats up the principal - he will be expelled from school. He didn't follow the rules and had to pay the price.
Sometimes it seems easier not to follow the rules but a person has to take the consequences of not following into account.
When someone goes off the derech, he broke the rules of his family, society and Hashem.... There is a heavy price to be paid. He will likely feel terribly guilty, have a strained relationship with his family [not that I promote banishing such a person from the family but the reality is usually that the relationship is either very problematic or non-existent], have trouble adjusting to secular society [not to mention the punishment in the world of truth where it really matters and there are no organizations to help sinners and rebels] etc. etc. He made a decision and he has to accept the fact that there will be a heavy price to pay. We can't blame our culture for having rules. That is a well understood fact of life.
What many people want is to break rules without consequences. They want to do whatever they feel like and get away with it. That never works. Many, many such people are languishing right now in jail [some contemplating suicide. Jail inmates have an unusually high suicide rate].
The Jews during the time of the Beis Hamikdash wanted to "do their own thing". Whether it was the 3 cardinal sins or plain old baseless hatred or many of the other sins mentioned in Tanach and in Chazal, they definitely were NOT keeping the rules. The lesson of the Torah is that while keeping the rules may be challenging at times - it is worth it. The alternative is often quite horrific.
I am not a yekke. I don't like rules. Really I don't. Ask my parents and teachers. But I know with all of my heart and soul that not keeping rules [societal, religious, familial etc.] spells disaster. So I keep the rules [although sometimes I go on the bus without my hat....].
Tisha B'av is the day when we ponder how self destructive it is to break rules. Next month, in Elul, we engage in teshuva and start fixing what we broke.
May we be zoche to learn from the mistakes of history and not repeat them.
And may all of those people who have left the Source of life and existence, abandon their miserable, body centered lifestyles and return to their nehsamos, their people and their Loving G-d.
