I went to a "Charedi", completely Torah oriented website so I could connect people to halachos for this erev shabbos and shabbos [see previous post] and there was an ad there for a completely secular university inclding a picture of a girl that I would rather not have seen [shmiras einayim is the "yesod" of avodas Hashem]. WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?? I know they make a lot of money off the advertisements but what about Yiras Shomayim?? Did they ask a shyla if they may post such an ad? Is it muttar for a boy or girl to learn in a coed, secular university??
A young man once asked the Chazon Ish if it is permitted for him to serve in the army. He said that he would remain religious but it would "cool him off a little" [i.e. he would become a bit more "modern"]. The Chazon Ish said that being cooled off is also יהרג ואל יעבור.
[I always say that Amalek is cool. אשר קרך בדרך -they just cooled us off on the way...]
While on the topic.... I recently saw an article on a kiruv website of an officially Charedi institution about whether one should "date" friends of the opposite gender. The author was in favor and said that she had done it herself. [I once wrote a protest in the comments sections about a certain horrible article which they neglected to print - so I decided that it won't help to send more].
שומו שמים! Are we validating the notion that one can have casual friends of the opposite gender. The Shulchan Aruch [E"H 21] says יתרחק מאד מאד מנשים. The whole thrust of numerous maamarei chazal is to keep a distance from anything other than necessary contact with the opposite gender. There is not ONE maamar chazal that finds any positive value in such relationships. One is only allowed to be friends with his wife, mother and daughters. Even the notion of men teaching girls Torah is VERY problematic, even if nothing happens. But since people are people - EVERY YEAR STUFF HAPPENS. [It is interesting that the same people who mock the more religious for their strictness regarding tzniyus and gender separation are the same ones who talk about how many breeches of tzniyus there are in that world. Since we see so many problems - shouldn't we laud those who are trying to curb the problems. A man who won't sit next to a woman on a bus because it is less than modest for his standards is not a man who will have an affair. All of the problems start with one conversation or text or look etc. etc. If a man won't sit next to a woman on a 12 hour flight the captain should get on the loud speaker and say "I want to publicly praise Zalman Menachem Friedkowsky of Boro Park who wants to sit with his gemara for 12 hours and not next to an eishes ish who is all dressed down as if she is already in Eilat." But no - people refuse to get up and change seats. Why? A person asked a favor? Why not do a favor?? What's the big deal? Have a heart. And it is a favor he is asking because he wants to be pure. Many men are lead to have illicit thought when in close proximity to a woman and he wants to avoid that. Why the rancor, antagonism and acerbity about this matter in the anti-semitic jewish websites and blogs that the religious blogs link to habitually and without discrimination?? Respect someone's right to be different. Embrace pluralism. Chap arein a great quote of Voltaire, not a rishon or acharon or a Jew at all for that matter "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."
We went on a little tangent. Back to our original point: In summation - the authentic, time tested Jewish attitude [and halacha] is segregation of the genders and I was appalled to see that this was not upheld by those who present themselves as representatives of Torah.
I am well aware that this website caters to non-religious Jews [and quite a few goyim] who are not yet ready for full halachic observance but shouldn't mention be made of the high standards of Jewish modesty?? Maybe if citing the Shulchan Aruch or Sifrei Reb Ahrale won't help, bring a ראיה from When Harry Met Sally that fully platonic friendships between the genders is an unlikely proposition. Who can argue with the מסקנות of a hit, blockbuster film?! With Billy Crystal yet. And what about all the religious Jews who go to this site and don't know any better and assume that if they say it is OK and they are great kiruv people with smicha [which means so little today] - it must be OK.
There is another issue here that cuts to the heart of the matter.
Let's learn....
ת"ר וכבר שלחה מלכות רומי שני סרדיוטות אצל חכמי ישראל, למדונו תורתכם, קראו ושנו ושלשו. בשעת פטירתן אמרו להם דקדקנו בכל תורתכם ואמת הוא חוץ מדבר זה שאתם אומרים שור של ישראל שנגח שור של כנעני פטור של כנעני שנגח שור של ישראל בין תם בין מועד משלם נזק שלם, ממ"נ אי רעהו דוקא אפילו דכנעני כי נגח דישראל ליפטר ואי רעהו לאו דוקא אפילו דישראל כי נגח דכנעני לחייב, ודבר זה אין אנו מודיעים אותו למלכות ב"ק ל"ח
Our Rabbis taught: The Government of Rome had long ago sent two commissioners to the Sages
of Israel with a request to teach them the Torah. It was accordingly read to them once, twice and
thrice. Before taking leave they made the following remark: We have gone carefully through your
Torah, and found it correct with the exception of this point, viz. your saying that if an ox of an
Israelite gores an ox of a Canaanite there is no liability, whereas if the ox of a Canaanite gores the
ox of an Israelite, whether Tam or Mu‘ad, compensation has to be paid in full. In no case can this be
right. For if the implication of ‘his neighbor’ has to be insisted upon, why then in the case of an ox
of a Canaanite goring an ox of an Israelite should there also not be exemption? If [on the other hand] the implication of ‘his neighbour’ has not to be insisted upon, why then even in the case of an ox of an Israelite goring an ox of a Canaanite, should there not be liability? We will, however, not report this matter to our Government. [Bava Kamma 38a]
Waaaiiiiit a second!! Why didn't the rabbis "fudge" on this halacha? It is dangerous to tell goyim that the Torah discriminates against them?! But no - they told it as it was. Why?
There is a famous teaching of Rabbi Shlomo Luria in his Yam Shel Shlomo. He learns from this gemara that one is not allowed to falsify Torah EVEN UNDER THE THREAT OF DEATH!
This halacha is so interesting that it deserves a separate treatment in a further post. ועוד חזון למועד בל"נ ובעז"ה. [For Rav Schachter Chasidim - he makes use of it to forbid women's minyanim because people will wrongfully think that women count for a minyan - עקבי הצאן סי' ה.]
For our purposes we learn that people must be very careful how they present yiddishkeit.
This also relates to tisha b'av because the Torah is in galus together with klal yisrael ואכמ"ל ועוד חזון למועד בעז"ה ובל"נ.
Bi-ahava and wishes for a lichtige shabbos chazon,
Me
