Did you know that 40 million Americans suffer from extreme anxiety?! That is 18 percent of the population. [I seem to know quite a few of them:-).] So almost everytime you go to shul, chances are that 2 out of every ten people in your minyan is suffering from some sort of anxiety disorder [which is very often exacerbated when the chazan goes too slow or the guy next to him blows his nose REALLY LOUD...]. There are a LOT of very tense people out there. It crosses all socio-economic, religious, ethnic and racial borders. Whether he wears a black hat or is actually black, there is a chance that he is struggling with this issue
.
My job today is to try to find the Jewish response to this. One Jewish response is to go to a psychiatrist because he is probably Jewish and has tuition and camp fees to pay which probably make him quite anxious and visiting him for treatment [and paying of course...] would help diminish some of that anxiety.
In this weeks parsha we have another answer. The Jews are fleeing from the Arabs I mean the Egyptians and they are ANXIOUS. On one side - the sea, on the other - blood thirsty enemies.
This is a perfect time for tfilla. Not. Hashem says to Moshe - "What are you screaming for? Tell the Jewish people to travel." [14/15] According to Rav Chaim of "Volozhin" [a small village near Monsey], Hashem was saying "If you just CHILL OUT, and travel with COMPLETE FAITH that everything will work out - then everything will in fact work out."
This was not a time for tfilla. When a girl dreams of her chosson and gets a date with her DREAM boy but doesn't show up because she is busy davening that Hashem should find her a chosson, then she is making a very big mistake.... This was a time for action. The action was to move forward and display their trust in Hashem. Not to lose their bearings. The Egyptians were the ones who were thrust into a maelstrom [GOOD WORD!] of anxiety and tension [see 14/24-25 with Rashi]. The Jews were to remain calm because their Chief Of Staff is the Ribbono Shel Olam Himself.
And you know what - it worked. We're here, aren't we?
I received the following article in an email from the shabbos sheet "Shabbat Bi-shabato" about this topic:
In spite of the silence in the kitchen, he felt that they were calling out to him. There they were, colored candies in the big glass jar, and they were smiling and winking, inviting and tempting him. "Come on, you cute thing, take a chair and climb up to us," they whispered. "Nobody will notice, your mother will not know. Why not put something sweet in your mouth, it's just what you need right now!" Even though he had celebrated his fourth birthday only a week ago, he managed to drag the heavy chair all by himself, climb up on the marble counter, and take the jar off the top of the refrigerator. It was very easy to take the top off, and the path to the prize was simple and very inviting. But then, surprisingly, he had another serious problem. He couldn't pull his hand out of the jar...
He pulled stubbornly, he turned back and forth and used all his strength, but even after a very long time of painful and frustrating effort, his hand remained stuck deep inside the jar. His painful cries filled the room and quickly brought his mother, who had thought that she would grab a few minutes of well-deserved rest. One quick glance was enough for her to understand the problem. From her experience she knew that she could use soap or olive oil to decrease the friction and to allow the hand to free itself from its cramped quarters. For example, that is what she had done when by mistake she had put a small ring on the wrong finger. But this time she had a much smarter idea. "My darling, it's very simple. Let go of the candy. Open up your hand." The weeping boy looked at his mother and did as she had said. Like magic, in a second, he took his hand out without any problem...
The Contracted Muscle
A new baby bursts out into the air with his or her hands tightly clenched. As it were, the whole world is folded into the baby's hands and is held there. It is not easy to convince the baby to give up the treasure held in his little hand. Decades pass, and the moment comes when the person closes his or her eyes and departs from his loved ones. By now, his hands are spread out and open. It takes an entire lifetime for a man to understand his proper place, to realize that even what he had imagined belonged only to him was not really his at all.
During a lifetime, a Jew encounters a wide variety of elements that cause him to exercise the muscle of relaxation. This is a special muscle in the soul which requires constant exercise in order to become free and flexible.
The process begins with what happens every day. A man is required to interrupt his hectic life three times a day, to step back from the race for money and accomplishments, and to pray to the Master of the Universe. He loses precious work time, and all of his meetings and labors must wait for him, but these quality times will help him get back onto the fast track of a life that is upright, true, and more precise.
It seems that this is not enough, and every week there is a need for a longer pause, a full day of relaxation. The person takes a step back, puts aside all the matters of physical material and time, and doesn't even talk about them. This is the opportunity for the soul to get its due, for the internal batteries to be charged with spiritual energy, and to return to the days of activity after the internal world has reached a higher level of harmony and a better order.
Once a year, just at the time of the harvest, when the crops are at their peak and the hearts of the masters of the land are full of satisfaction for the great success during the year, the man must once again back off. For a whole week he leaves his grandiose and comfortable house and goes outside into nature. He sleeps in a temporary dwelling and looks at the stars which twinkle at him through the "sechach."
Once every seven years, an even more drastic step is necessary. The work on the land is stopped completely, and a place of honor is reserved for broader spaces of life and of the soul.
Letting G-d Enter
Is it easy for a person to relax? He will always feel an internal opposition to such a move. It sometimes even brings about a feeling of trepidation and fear. "What will happen when I let go? How can I set aside everything that I have achieved?"
King David uses a sentence with only five words to express the great secret of "surviving during Shemitta" – "Relax and know that I am G-d" [Tehillim 46:11].
Relaxation is an expression of faith, of modesty, of giving in, of patience. It shows that I know my proper place.
Relaxation frees a man from his stubborn hold on reality and leaves an opening for external influences to operate in his world.
Relaxation creates a distance which can help a man clarify the quality of the link between him and what he held on to beforehand. Some things simply cannot be seen when we are still in their midst, and they will be revealed only when we step back to take a look.
Relaxation helps to balance relationships, to look at things in the proper proportion, to look at the entire picture. (This is the meaning in depth of the entire wonderful concept of "family purity." In the monthly cycle of a couple, it is vital to step back for a few days from the physical plane in order to maintain a relationship that is healthy, balanced, pure, and precise.)
Relaxation implies humility. A man understands that he is not necessarily the one who controls all existence. There is a greater power, and mankind is nothing compared to it.
Relaxation, paradoxically, can enhance a person's confidence in the face of losing his grip. Making room within ourselves leaves room for the Holy One, Blessed be He, to enter...
The Correct Position
Anybody who has the merit of exercising his relaxation muscle and making it more flexible will find that he has in his hand a tremendous tool for a life that is healthy and calm. He will make use of this as a parent when he discovers that "his" children do not really belong to him. They grow up to be independent human beings, with their own will, which does not always exactly match the path of the parents. He will make use of this in his contact with his mate, and he will therefore be able to free himself from the haughty desire to change the mate to correspond to "his own truth." This approach will help him in all of his work relationships, in his studies, and in society. Above all, it will lead him to a better position with respect to the world and in relation to the One who created it.
