To answer these questions Rav Bloch - כדרכו בקודש - delves DEEPLY into the psyche of man. [Full disclosure - I LOVE explanations predicated upon an understandings of human psychology].
Why doesn't Kiddushin work with a דבר שלא בא לעולם - an entity that doesn't yet exist? Because when the entity doesn't exist the man lacks the requisite גמירות דעת - full resolve to marry. But when the man has the power to bring the object into the world - it is בידו - in such an instance he has גמירות דעת to make the kinyan happen - so it does!
So now the Rashba [and everything we brought up] makes sense. When a man says to a woman that she should be married to him after they get divorced, he feels in his heart and mind that at the present time she is not marry-able. That creates a חסרון of גמר דעת on his part and this impinges on the גוף מעשה הקידושין - the very act of Kiddushin. So the Gemara says "OK, she is not marriage material NOW but you have to admit that it is בידו to change that reality because he can divorce her and remarry her." The Gemara answers that maybe she won't be interested afterwards in accepting the Kiddushin, which casts a pall of doubt in his mind about this union. This means that there remains a lack of גמירות דעת on his part and thus there is still a חסרון in the גוף מעשה הקידשין and the בידו doesn't help us.
However when it comes to marrying a woman with איסורי הנאה where the man doesn't FEEL the חיסרון in the גוף מעשה הקידושין because she is a single girl, available and on the lists of many shadchanim and shadchaniyot. A PRIZE on the "shidduch market", if you will. Like, every other guy on the Upper West Side wants to marry her. So he HAS גמירות דעת about the עצם קידושין. The only problem is with the מעשה קנין because the money used to effect the transaction is אסור בהנאה. Ahhhh - THAT he can fix by rendering the object אפר. He has a "בידו" in hand [if i may be redundant...]. What are you going to argue? NO! Who says that after he burns the object she will still be interested in marrying him? WHO CARES! In his psyche that is not an issue because he has גמירות דעת. As far as he is concerned it is a DONE DEAL [as opposed to Dan's Deals]. He is just concerned with the problem of the מעשה קנין but that can be rectified by burning it which would render it מותר בהנאה. To that the Rashba said that it won't work because after he burns the object it is transformed into a different entity and thus the Kiddushin isn't valid. Otherwise though it would work JUST FINE!
So too when he gives a girl money to marry her after 30 days, the issue in HIS BRAIN is that there is a problem with a מעשה קנין that only takes effect after 30 days. This problem is resolved by the fact that he has the option - the בידו - to marry her right now. Now you might again argue that he should also be concerned with the fact that she will change her mind before the 30 days are up and the whole thing is off. But you WON'T argue that because you understand that we are peering into HIS mind and HIS subjective concern is that there is a problem with the מעשה קנין - not the עצם קידושין. For that we have a בידו and that rectifies the problem. So they are married.
MAZELLL TOVVV!!! 😊🎹🎸🎷
However when it comes to marrying a woman with איסורי הנאה where the man doesn't FEEL the חיסרון in the גוף מעשה הקידושין because she is a single girl, available and on the lists of many shadchanim and shadchaniyot. A PRIZE on the "shidduch market", if you will. Like, every other guy on the Upper West Side wants to marry her. So he HAS גמירות דעת about the עצם קידושין. The only problem is with the מעשה קנין because the money used to effect the transaction is אסור בהנאה. Ahhhh - THAT he can fix by rendering the object אפר. He has a "בידו" in hand [if i may be redundant...]. What are you going to argue? NO! Who says that after he burns the object she will still be interested in marrying him? WHO CARES! In his psyche that is not an issue because he has גמירות דעת. As far as he is concerned it is a DONE DEAL [as opposed to Dan's Deals]. He is just concerned with the problem of the מעשה קנין but that can be rectified by burning it which would render it מותר בהנאה. To that the Rashba said that it won't work because after he burns the object it is transformed into a different entity and thus the Kiddushin isn't valid. Otherwise though it would work JUST FINE!
So too when he gives a girl money to marry her after 30 days, the issue in HIS BRAIN is that there is a problem with a מעשה קנין that only takes effect after 30 days. This problem is resolved by the fact that he has the option - the בידו - to marry her right now. Now you might again argue that he should also be concerned with the fact that she will change her mind before the 30 days are up and the whole thing is off. But you WON'T argue that because you understand that we are peering into HIS mind and HIS subjective concern is that there is a problem with the מעשה קנין - not the עצם קידושין. For that we have a בידו and that rectifies the problem. So they are married.
MAZELLL TOVVV!!! 😊🎹🎸🎷
