Chapter III
It was after those events that King Achashverosh elevated his advisor Haman to be his chief advisor. There were some protests by the African-Persian community because he hadn't selected an African- Persian to be his top advisor, but the appointment went through anyway.
Haman was then accused by an old high school classmate of acting inappropriately toward her during a party. Then 12 more women stepped forward making similar claims. Haman also admitted when pressed that he had smoked A LOT of weed in college. But it was too late. He had already been appointed and whatever the King stamps with his ring can't be overturned. The King tweeted that Haman is a "great man and patriot", with a "sparkling record of devoted service" who will "make Persia great again" and all of his accusers are "fat ugly liars" who "remind me of Rosie O'Donnell". Haman tweeted that he is the "victim of character assassination."
It turned out the Haman was a big anti-Semite, and he asked the King's permission to kill all the Jews, which he got. He claimed that the Jews are ALWAYS trying to get out of work by claiming that it is a Jewish holiday. He told the King that they make up the holidays as they go along and that the economy will suffer if we keep them around. Plus, said Haman, they all cheat on their taxes. That convinced the king to accede to Haman's request. Haman added that in their schools they spend all day learning Talmud and thus have no time to be taught such important information such as the "fact" that we are all descended from the apes and to take "gender studies" courses "proving" that men and woman are actually the same.
So Haman sent out a proclamation to all the lands in the kingdom outlining his plan. The New York Times reported that Haman is "trying to bring peace to the region" and is a "freedom fighter". Distressed, the Jews sought a court-issued injunction to stop Haman from sending it. But Haman was defended by the head of the Persian Civil Liberties Union, who ironically was also Jewish, and who claimed that the injunction would violate Haman's right to free speech. And the injunction was not issued, so the proclamation was sent.
Agudas Yisrael of America tried to use it's connections in the White House to stop it but to no avail. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez lauded Haman for his "courage". Ilhan Omar tweeted "we thank Allah for Haman who will weed out the cancer that is the Jewish people. Itbach Al Yahud!!"
