Rav Lopiansky
On Lag B’omer of 2021 we have stood before such an event. During an evening full of kedushah and achdus, while celebrating the part of Torah that is beyond words, we were shown a flash of the Awesome bikrovai Ekadeish. Yes, the Rambam in Hilchos Taaniyos stresses the need for recognition that unusually bad events that befall a tzibbur must be recognized as an act of Hashem calling for us to improve. And yes, if there are practical and natural things that need to be fixed for future gatherings, of course we must do so.
But let us not reduce the event to a “because” moment. In that terrible moment we have stood before Hashem; our understanding is naught, our words are gone — and all is Hashem. For Hashem is not in the storm, nor in the raging fire, but in the thundering silence (see I Melachim 19:11).
Although we are speaking of the value of silence in the realm of bein adam l’Makom, it is also important to emphasize the need for silence in bein adam l’chaveiro.
Too many terrible things happened during this event because of words. People were reported as dead when in fact they were alive, causing needless pain. Tragically, people found out that loved ones had passed away via WhatsApp posts, inflicting trauma that may never heal. In today’s day and age, when a forwarded message can be assumed to reach everyone instantly, there is no shogeg — no “unintentional sinner” for this terrible act. Any information forwarded — through any electronic media — should be assumed to reach every person throughout the globe, instantly. Never, ever forward anything that could hurt anyone!
And there is one more act that can be done in silence, and best done in silence, and that is “nosei b’ol im chaveiro.” The Tiferes Yisrael explains that “nosei b’ol” is not merely the actual help that one gives a friend in distress, but it includes the feeling and sensing of the pain and suffering of the other.
Pause a minute at each name of the victims, and think what their death means for their families. The sudden shock. The two-week-old who will never know her father. The kallah whose anticipation of the happiest moment in her life has blown up in her face. The family that is now staring at the empty beds of two children. On and on and on.
Just one minute of mulling over each name will overwhelm us with the tzaar of Klal Yisrael. It will change us profoundly. And in some inexplicable way, a suffering genuinely shared by many, lightens the burden, even if it’s just a wee bit.
In the merit of our awed silence before Hashem and our compassionate silence before those who have suffered such sudden, wrenching loss, may He soon bring the Geulah Sheleimah and with it, an end to all our suffering and confusion. May we merit to stand before Hashem not only in awe, but also in pure simchah, speechless with joy.
