Li-rufuas Zeev Yisrael ben Esther uli-hatzlachas kol mishpachto.
In this weeks parsha we read of the story of Avimelech taking Sarah. Hashem appears to him in a dream and tells him to STAY AWAY! She is a married woman! Then all of the women of Avimelech's home were afflicted with barrenness. The men also are not able to go to the bathroom [Bava Kamma 92]. Avraham davens for them and they are healed. The women give birth and the men are able to relieve themselves. What a RELIEF!
The Torah then says "Vi-Hashem pokad es Sarah". AND Hashem remembered Sarah and she became pregnant. The word "and" implies a connection with the previous story. Rashi explains that because Avraham davened for Avimelech that he should have children, he was answered first, for כל המתפלל על חבירו והוא צריך לאותו דבר הוא נענה תחילה - [Literally], If you daven for your friend and need the same thing - you are answered first.
There are three questions [at least] on this story.
1] Hashem already promised Avraham that he would have a child at the beginning of the parsha [and in Lech Lecha]. So it WASN'T because he davened for Avimelech. Imagine a person goes to Rav-Shteinman-Rav-Chaim-
2] The medrash says that for years he davened for barren woman and they gave birth. How come until now he wasn't answered himself? If you get answered first when you daven for your friend - what took so long??
3] Avraham didn't have exactly the same tzara as Avimelech. Avraham didn't have a child yet with Sarah but Avimelech had more than barrenness. He and his household were unable to reveal themselves. It is not the same thing?! They once asked a Yid how come he dances after he makes the monthly bracha on the moon [as per the custom]. Why doesn't he dance when he says asher yatzar? He answered that if I would make asher yatzar once a month, I would also dance... 
It's noooot the same thing!
The answer is rooted in a principal of the Sfas Emes [stated three times - Vayeitzi, Beshalach and Purim]: Even when Hashem promises, one must still daven in order to see the promise fulfilled! That is why even after the promise, Avraham had to daven for Avimelech in order to get his own tfilla answered [question 1]. The reason he wasn't answered until now [question 2] is because in order to be answered one must fell that the other person's tzara is his own. It is not that Avraham had exactly the same tzara as Avimelech but he FELT as if he did. המתפלל בעד חבירו והוא צריך לאותו דבר - When one davens one must feel as if he needs the same thing as his friend [even if he doesn't]. He must identify fully with his friend's distress. Only such a tfilla warrants that his his own needs are fulfilled first. All along Avraham davened for others with great intensity - but not as if it was his own problem. Now that he davened for Avimelech as if HE himself was suffering - he was answered and Sarah became pregnant and gave birth [question 3].
Now that we understand the parsha, the lesson.....: How much do we feel the pain of a choleh when we hear about him or see his name and a request to daven? He is lying in a hospital bed writhing in pain ר"ל and we often go on as if nothing happened - especially if we don't know him personally.. How much do we identify with people who have NO MONEY? How about when we are driving [in Israel] and we see a yeshiva bochur standing in the boiling sun or cold waiting for a ride. Do we stop our car and offer him a ride? [If one is concerned that he is an Arab, you can give him a quick quiz - How many melachos shabbos are there? If he knows, he is not a terrorist...] If it was our son or nephew we would stop?? Of course. But he is ALSO a son or a nephew, just of someone else. It seems to me that people are often apathetic to the suffering of others. How do people with fertility problems feel? How about divorced people? Widows? Orphans? The only people who often seem to care are the people who themselves are suffering. A shnorrer comes to your shul. Of course he is annoying. I work hard for my money and he wants me to just hand it over? Let him get a job!
Sweet friends - we should never be in a position that we must collect, but we should always remember that those who are - suffer tremendously. It is HUMILIATING to ask for money. It is not his fault that his job pays 1000 dollars a month less than he needs to feed his family. It is not his fault that to marry off a child costs so much. Nobody wants it to but that is the reality. Even if you don't write him a large check - a little compassion goes a long way.....
Yitzchak was only born and we are only here today because Avraham experienced the pain of Avimelech.
A delicious-sensitive-caring-
Love and blessings,
Me:-)
[Based on last nights weekly Chumash shiur by Mori Vi-rabi Hakadosh The Tolna Rebbe Shlita (who actually lives what he speaks) in the Holy City Of Yerushalayim]
