Humility

A more personal post. Excuse me for the openness:-).

The smelliest, most abominable middah is גאוה. As the pasuk says תועבת השם כל גבה לב - A haughty heart is an abomination to Hashem [Mishlei 16/5]. So since I certainly don't want to be smelly and abominable - it is always a source of good fortune to find more reasons to appreciate my nothingness:-).

This morning I received one such reason in my inbox. My dream was to have a kollel with many serious talmidei chachomim sweating over the complexities of the hidden and revealed Torah, day and night. Just pure Torah. I was unable to sustain even a very small kollel for more that one year until it folded for lack of funds. The email I received was a request to help support a kollel located in my beloved home for over 20 years  - the Old City - that numbers over 500 avreichim. So I asked myself, how come my friend, this Rosh Kollel, is so successful while I failed miserably?

My conclusions:
A] Everything is in the hands of heaven and Hashem decreed that this kollel should thrive while mine should crumble.
B] I am quite awful at raising money. The only way to keep a kollel afloat is to raise a lot.
C] I still have a kollel. I am just the only member...
D] To be matzliach in life one, sometimes one needs special zchuyos. I have to work to earn those zchuyos and am not there yet. This Rosh Kollel Shlita obviously is.
E] Who cares that it's not MY kollel. Torah is flourishing and that is a cause for celebration!! Yaaaay Torah!! Long live this and all other kollels!!:-):-)
F] If you know anyone who wants to singlehandedly fund a kollel, send him [or her] my way. I will happily do all of the Torah work...
G] We should be zoche bi-karov to ומלאה הארץ דעה את השם כמים לים מכסים.