Hashem says about Avraham (Bereishis 18:19): “For I have known him because he commanded his children and his household after him, and they observed the path of Hashem, doing righteousness and justice…” the Meshech Chochma, zt’l, teaches that this pasuk is the Torah source for the mitzva of chinuch, educating our children. He explains that the mitzva of “And you shall review with your son” (Devarim 6:7) and “And you shall teach your children” (Devarim 11:19) refer to the mitzva to teach one’s children Torah. That is the curriculum of Torah. But the general, all-encompassing mitzva of chinuch, the mitzva to raise one’s children to live a G-dly life, is derived from Avraham Avinu.
The fact that Avraham fulfilled the mitzva of chinuch with his children is so great, Rashi explains that “I have known him” is an expression of love and is the source of the fact that the Navi calls Avraham (Yeshayahu 41:8), “Avraham that I love.” But what did Avraham actually command his children and the members of his household? What specifically did he teach them? We see that the result was that “they observed the path of Hashem, doing righteousness and justice.” But beyond the fact that they lived in the same household as a tzadik like Avraham, the pasuk never teaches us clearly what Avraham did to fulfill this mitzva. If the Torah does not make that clear, how can we learn from his actions and apply them to the way we educate our children in the path of Hashem?
There is a teaching in Tana D’vei Eliyahu (19:5) where Eliyahu Hanavi davens to Hashem to point out the positive attributes of the Jewish people: “My Father in Heaven, remember the covenant that You entered into with the earlier generations, with the three tzadikim, Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. Remember how many poor and impoverished people there are in the Jewish people. Yet they study Torah every single day… They do not have enough food to eat, yet they pay a salary to rebbeim to teach their children Torah…”
The Tolner Rebbe, shlita, asks how we can understand this prayer of Eliyahu Hanavi in light of our circumstances today. Unlike in previous generations, virtually no one is forced to choose between hiring teachers for his children and putting bread and water on his table. While tuition is difficult and people sacrifice to educate their children, thankfully, that education is generally not at the expense of basic sustenance. Not everyone can afford to go out for sushi and steak, but they are also not starving. So what is the test of our generation? How do we sacrifice for our children’s education and welfare? What makes us worthy of Eliyahu Hanavi’s tears?
The Tolner Rebbe suggests that while the greatest test for previous generations was spending money on Torah education rather than food, our generation’s greatest test is how we spend our time. Because of the pressures of making a living and the time people spend using their electronic devices, as well as their varied interests and social commitments, the most difficult thing in our generation is dedicating one-on-one time with one’s husband or wife, and with one’s children. Beyond handling homework assignments and daily tasks, the call to action for our generation is to spend some non-pressured, quiet, quality time with one’s spouse and children.
Even on Shabbos, it is difficult to give up a portion of our precious three-hour naps to spend time learning, playing, or talking with our children during the short Shabbos days of the upcoming winter months. And while one might think that people could simply spend the long Friday nights with their children, there is a strong desire to simply go to sleep at 8 p.m.! Spending time with one’s spouse and children is a difficult challenge for our generation even on Shabbos.
The key area of sacrifice we are called upon to make in our generation is to spend some time with each of our sons and daughters to talk with them about matters which concern them: How is yeshiva? How are things with friends? We must take time to call our children’s rebbeim, moros, and teachers. Instead of making time for these conversations, so many people waste away hours and hours on their iPhones, iPads, and computers. But if someone sacrifices his time and dedicates it to his or her spouse and children, Eliyahu Hanavi highlights each precious sacrifice to Hashem in his advocacy for the Jewish people.
Unfortunately, men and much more prone to failure in this area than women are. Even though there are tremendous pressures on women in this generation as well, and many women must work full- or part-time to support their families, they generally find a way to make the necessary time for their children.
The Sfas Emes (on Bereishis 5658 “Vayikach Hashem”) highlights this reality in his comment on the pasuk (Bamidbar 11:12) in which Moshe asks Hashem, “Did I conceive this entire nation or give birth to it that You should say ‘Carry it in your bosom…’” The Rebbe teaches that the pasuk reveals by implication that if a mother did give birth to the entire Jewish nation, she would have the ability to take care of its needs. But even the nation’s father, Moshe Rebbeinu, could not give the people the time they require.
NOTE: THE IDEA FROM THE REBBE SHLITA IS TAKEN FROM THE NEW SEFER "CHAMIN BI'MOTZEI SHABBOS" WHICH IS A "YOU CAN'T MISS IT SEFER" OF THE REBBE SHLITA'S TORAH ON TANA D'BEI ELIYAHU AND SHELESHUDES DRASHOS. I WAS TOLD THAT IT SHOULD BE CARRIED BY YOUR LOCAL JEWISH BOOKSTORE.
