Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Public Displays Of Affection

I heard in the name of a Rosh Yeshiva in Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan that if one's wife wants to hold hands in public, the husband should acquiesce because it is a fulfillment of the mitzva of Onah [sexual relations]. 

Since it is not Purim and the person who repeated this is not a funny guy - I have to assume that he was serious. 

So this Rav is saying that one should publicly fulfill his mitzva of Onah.


Anyway - I would much rather assume that the Rav never said this and was misquoted. Or he said it and but actually said that since it is a fulfillment of Onah it should NOT be done. But that is also a stretch. Onah is Onah. 

My own attitude is that all physical affection for a spouse should be reserved for private places. Your relationship with your spouse is not a Facebook page for the world to see.

Of course, my opinion is meaningless. Who am I? 

Image result for bozo the clown pictures  

Bozo the blogger!!

But the Rema in Shulchan Aruch writes this. 

Rabbi Henkin writes a teshuva [Bnei Bonim 4/12] where he tries to prove that it is permitted to hold hands from the fact that non-religious people do it and if it were an act that related to actual תשמיש then they wouldn't do it in public. It is odd to bring a proof from people who are often מנאפים and פרוצים בעריות [as pointed out in the sefer Asher Chanan 8/156]. 

So - love your wife, express both verbal and physical affection to your wife and most of all - give her lots of money and gifts, if you can. The secret to Shalom Bayit is that if you want shalom - buy it!

But keep the lovey-dovey stuff for behind closed doors.