Thursday, June 29, 2017

The Challenges Of The Baalabos

Regarding the previous post, some thoughts:

1] If it is possible, one can move to Israel!!:-) A person can save tens of thousands of dollars a year on tuition [not to mention sleepaway summer camp which doesn't exist here]. Besides, it's a mitzva:):)!! Chazal say that living in Israel is like you have a G-d while living outside the land is like you don't have a G-d. Chazal say that the value of living in Israel equals all the mitzvos. And much, much more! 

But not everyone can come. 

2] When one chooses a field of work, it is very important to choose an area in which one is interested and will get satisfaction. One can make a lot of money in almost every field. 

3] There is really plenty of time for a frum Jew to learn: Like to and from work. The train [at least the LIRR] is very comfortable and one can learn in relative comfort. Then there are Friday nights, Shabbosos, Motzei Shabbosos, Sundays, national holidays, Jewish holidays and those in between times at work that many people have. I have a chavrusa who works in a Manhattan office who takes out an hour from his busy day to learn [in addition to learning before and after work]. People go to weddings and instead of engaging in idle chatter before the chuppah they can go to the side and learn a daf gemara. At the Chuppah they can learn instead of watching all of the Kallah's friend's walking down the aisle. They are loads of times to learn. My experience is that many balabatim [not all] are not terribly interested in learning so much. They do their daf yomi or whatever [if that] and the buck stops there. Halevai that all people should be so frustrated that they can't learn more.  

4] Hashem doesn't require that one do more than he can. If one feels guilty because he is not learning enough then that is his own issue. Hashem is not going to punish someone who wasn't able to learn so much because he needed to feed his family and pay his children's tuitions. 

5] One should be thankful he has a job that pays the bills. I often bring the example of highly talented mechanchim in Eretz Yisrael who make less that the checkout lady in Fairway [my local supermarket when I am in the City]. They get paid enough to either pay the rent [or at least most of it] or to feed one's family, but not both. 

6] If you are at a shiur and the teacher says something that you don't understand - then ASK. Don't sit there for an hour all annoyed that you don't know what he is talking about.  

7] Life is frustrating. We all have unrequited dreams, hopes and aspirations. Life is also filled with disappointments. One needs a close friend or three with whom to share his burdens [a strong marriage is especially helpful], a close relationship with Hashem and a firm belief that he has a purpose and whatever happens is part of his purpose in life. The Rambam writes that Simcha is an עבודה גדולה. Big work. We all have to work out it. If others aren't giving you chizzuk - give it to yourself. There is an old line that you shouldn't tell people your problems because 80 percent don't care and 20 percent are happy you have them. People are very immersed in their own problems and rare is the person whose heart is open enough to hear about the pain and angst of someone else. And when they are willing to listen they take hundreds of dollars for their time and "expertise". So there are caring feeling people out there but don't count on them. One should find internal reservoirs of strength. The very fact that a person cares so much should be a great boost when he realizes where his true desires lie. 

There is much more but not for now...:-)