And a mazel tov to my beloved, sweet nephew Yaakov Tzvi Weberman who is celebrating his Bar Mitzvah this Shabbos. A special mazel tov-tov-tov to my holy, beloved, special [AND ONLY!!!] sister "Omsi" - "Naomi" to most of the world and to her husband the Gaon Rav Yossi Weberman. I sadly can't make it!! I needed to choose an airline to fly in with so I chose the "Delta" variant. Unfortunately, this is not the airline to fly these days so I will be wearing my mask in Jerusalem instead.
Speaking of children......
SHAAAAAALOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM SWEEEEETEST FRIENDSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
WOW!! This week's Parsha is SOOOOO exciting!!! So much to learn and help guide us through this maze we call "life".
We read of the rebellious child [who acc. to the Gemara may or may not never have actually existed] called a בן סורר ומורה [no relation to "Ben" Franklin, "Ben" Affleck or "Ben" Shapiro. Or any Morah I ever had. But he IS a second cousin to Ben of "Ben and Jerry's" fame!!]. The Torah says that [among other things] he doesn't listen to his parents. איננו שומע בקולנו - say the parents. [If you are a parent you probably NEVER had the experience of a child not listening
]. Shmerl just doesn't listen!! [I am a notable exception. I listened to EVERYTHING my parents said. Unless I didn't want to...
] This is a BIG problem b/c the parents are a bridge to Sinai and to Divine revelation and when the child doesn't listen to them - he instead gets sucked into whatever the prevailing attitudes are in that time.
Like today. You say "Thank you Ma'am" and the lady gets offended. What did you say wrong? "Today I am not feeling like a Ma'am. I feel like a Mister". "OK then, thank you Mister". She/he is AGAIN offended. "What did I say wrong?" "I could hear in your voice that I am locked into being a Mister. But the fact is that in a minute I could turn into a Ma'am. Or ANY of the SEVENTY TWO different gender possibilities." [I make this up not. There are really 72 options. It is EXPLICIT in the "Torah" of Google!!!]. If one detaches from the past, which the parents represent, then all sorts of mishegossen ["craziness" in Swahili] seep in. [For the record, on Shabbos morning I identify as female. So I come to shul in the middle of Mussaf with a baby in the stroller so that I can sleep late and most of my time there is spent eating and socializing during the Kiddush AND I DON'T FEEL GUILTY b/c I am just being a good mommy!!!].
The Mishna says that if the parents are deaf then the child can't have a law of being a בן סורר ומורה. Why? B/c the passuk says that he didn't listen and if the parents are deaf this doesn't apply b/c they don't have the option of listening. But WAIT!!! It SHOULD say that if the CHILD is deaf, he can't be a בן סורר ומורה? Since HE CAN'T hear, it is not his fault for not listening!!!? So why does the Mishna say that if his PARENTS can't hear, he is precluded from becoming a בן סורר ומורה???
Big lesson: If the parents can't listen - then we can't expect the child to listen!!!!! A child internalizes what he sees and experiences. If he has parents who [by no fault of their own] don't have the capacity to listen - well then we can't punish him for not listening. [I am pretty sure that I heard that idea from the Tolna Rebbe Shlita]
SWWEEEEEETEST PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!! Your children are watching you BIG TIME!!! The example you set for them will stay with them FOREVER!!!!!!!
Is that a big responsibility?? OH BOOOOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! H-U-U-U-U-G-G-E-E!!!! There is an endless amount of research on the impact parents have on children and the findings are incontrovertible [which is a word I like saying while driving my convertible. Gentiles, by the way, are ALSO convertible. If they wish!!! But they should first know that being a Yid AIN'T EASY!!!]. The example parents set has a profound impact on their children which is in turn passed on to the next generation.
So the lesson is - you want good children? The BEST way [after shedding oceans of tears - preferably at the Kotel and after sending 180 dollars to all those tzdakos that promise you salvations
] is to model for them the right way to be. That is far more powerful than any lecture. With a bracha for a sweet-children-obeying-and-setting-a-shining-example-for-them-accompanied-with-endless-love-Shabbos!!!!
Bi-ahava
Me .
