1. On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate yourself as regards being
critical?
2. In what areas are you highly critical of others?
3. In what areas that others are critical are you not critical of others?
4. (with nos. 2 and 3) Are those areas in which you personally have
strengths or weaknesses?
5. Is your being critical of others an expression of hatred or love?
6 . If someone does something for you, is your initial reaction to focus
on what he did right or on what he did wrong?
7. Do you find it easier to volunteer criticism or approval and praise?
8 . What gives you more pleasure: criticizing someone or
complimenting someone?
9. When you see that someone has made a mistake, do you feel
pleasure that you can now criticize him or do you feel sorry for him?
10. If someone were to do ten things right and one thing wrong, is your
focus more on what he did right or on what he did wrong?
11. When you are critical, is your main focus on helping people
improve and grow or on expressing your personal displeasure?
12. When you hear that someone has accomplished something, what is
your initial reaction: to look for the positive aspects of his
accomplishment, or to look for something to criticize?
13. Which people have you helped greatly because you were not critical
of them?
14. When you hear someone giving a lecture or a speech, do you focus
on what was positive about it or on what was negative?
15. If someone relates an idea or technique, is your main focus on when
it will apply or on when it will not apply?
16. Do other people find you difficult to please?
17. When you do not like something a certain group does, do you talk
or write against them to outsiders of the group who will just look down at
that group or do you try to influence that group directly to improve and
change for the better?
18. When you meet someone, do you tend to ask yourself, “ What can I
find right with this person? or, “What can I find wrong with this
person?“
19. What do you gain by being critical?
20. Do you act as if you feel you have a right to be as critical as you
want of others but others do not have a right to be critical of you?
21. Do you tend to repress constructive criticism of other people
because you fear that if you were to be critical they would feel negatively
about you?
22. When you see a new book, are your first thoughts about how you
can gain from the book or about what is wrong with it?
23. Do you tend to condemn an entire work because of minor flaws?
24. In what ways is your being critical based on perfectionistic ideas?
25. There is a Yiddish expression which translated into English goes:
“If you’re out to beat a dog, you’re sure to find a stick.” How does this
apply to your being critical?
26. In what ways do you use criticism of others as a means of feeling a
sense of fulfillment, instead of being constructive or creative yourself?
27. In what ways do you criticize people who have accomplished much
more than you and feel a sense of superiority over them just because you
find something to criticize?
28. In what ways are you critical of others because your being critical
gives you a sense of importance?
29. When you are critical, do you tend to exaggerate for the sake of
emphasis or do you understate in order to be more effective?
30. If you tend to exaggerate, how does this lessen the effectiveness of
your criticisms?
31. In what ways do you assign your own undesirable qualities to other
people?
32. Which people are you critical of?
33. Which people are you not critical of?
34. Are you more critical of your family or of others?
35. Are you more critical of people you like or people you dislike?
36. In what ways are you excessively critical with your children?
37. Are you more critical of any specific groups? What personal
prejudices might be at the root of your being critical of them?
38. Think over your last 20 conversations. Who and what were you
critical of? (Not to be asked in a group.)
39. What effect does your being critical have on others?
40. When do others tend to resent you because of your being critical?
41. If you knew that your being critical would cause other people to
resent you, would you be motivated to find pleasant methods to influence
others?
42. In what ways does your tendency towards being critical cause you
to speak against people behind their backs?
43. How does your being critical of others prevent you from looking at
your .own faults and trying to do something to improve?
44. How does your being critical prevent you from experiencing joy in
your life?
45. In what ways does your being critical prevent you from feeling love
for other people?
46. In what ways does your being critical prevent you from having peace
of mind and serenity?
47. In what ways does your focusing on the negative make you
overlook the positive?
48. In what ways do you magnify people’s faults?
49. In what ways do you belittle people’s efforts?
50. When have you criticized people even though others were present?
51. Do you ever say to people you are criticizing, “You always...” when
they do not truly always do it?
52. Do you ever intentionally plan to crush someone by giving him
destructive criticism? Have you ever done so unintentionally?
53. Which people have you harmed greatly through your being critical
of them?
54. When do you give criticism at inappropriate times?
55. When someone helps you, are you critical of him that he has not
helped you even more?
56. In what ways docs your being critical of others prevent them from
being understanding of your needs?
57. When there is a need to correct someone, arc you careful to correct
that person privately and in a manner that will not cause him shame?
58. Arc you aware that there is a need to speak to different people in
different ways to prevent causing them unnecessary pain?
59. If another person is very sensitive to criticism, in what ways are you
especially careful with his feelings?
60. If you arc frequently critical, in what ways can you praise and
compliment others to ensure that you make more positive statements
than negative ones?
61. In what ways docs your behavior show an awareness that people are
more motivated by positive reinforcement than by criticism?
62. When you need to criticize someone, arc you careful to start off
and finish with praise?
63. When have you had a strong positive influence on someone by
being uncritically accepting of him?
64. Are you always careful before you criticize someone to choose your
wording and approach very carefully?
65. Do you usually remember to criticize with positive wording, (“If
you do it this way, it will be good for you.“) or do you usually use negative
wording (“How awful״of you to be such a bad person!“)?
66. When you have a need to criticize someone, do you tend to use
generalities (for example, “I wish you were more considerate.”) or do you
cite specific behaviors (for example, “I wish you would notify me when
you are planning to be late“)?
67; If you tend to use generalities, how would citing specific behaviors
be more productive?
6 8 . In what ways arc you self-critical?
69. Are you more critical of others or of yourself?
. 70. In what ways is your sclf-criticalness counter-productive?
71. In what ways is your self-criticalness beneficial?
72. In what ways does your self-criticism breed self-hate?
73. In what ways arc you not sufficiently self-critical.^
74. Before you say something critical, do you ask yourself, ''Will
anything constructive come from my being critical right now?
75. What would happen to you if you were less critical than you
presently are?
76. Do you sincerely want to stop being critical?
77. If you tend to be critical of others, arc you willing to give a two
week trial period of focusing on people's positive behaviors and qualities
and praising them?
78. When critical thoughts come to your mind, what can you do to
remember to refute your critical thought?
Gateway to self knowledge
