Many people take the former approach whether consciously or subconsciously. This, of course, is not the way it should be done. Man was created in the image of G-d so we shouldn't try to create G-d in our image.
Much of the rhtoric surrounding contemporary issues is often an attempt to try to find justification for one's personal feelings and anchor them in Torah sources. This is unfortunate and a perversion of the Torah.
A beloved friend and Talmid Chochom sent me the drasha of a Rabbi [who is a friend of mine and a fine, upstanding mentsch and religious guide for his community] who related to the recent ruling of the Supreme Court. He employed the pasuk הן עם לבדד ישכון - we are a people who dwell alone. This means, he asserted, that it is not our job to tell the goyim how to live. We must build our own communites and strengthen Jewish life and practice and let the goyim do what they want. We are a nation ALONE.
He is sadly mistaken.
Firstly - nobody is forcing or compelling anybody to lead one lifestyle or another. Rabbinic groups [and private rabbonim] expressed moral outrage over the justification of what G-d considers an abominable way of life. Since Avraham Avinu, Jews have been, and should be, expressing outrage over breeches of moral conduct. Avraham even went to war with goyim over when they deserved it. As the central Modern Orthodox thinker Rabbi Lamm put it so pithily - "We are not meant to be the Neturi Karta of the nations." Our job is to make the voice of spirituality heard on issues affecting mankind. If goyim had no spiritual purpose they wouldn't be here and our job is to show them the way [of course, primarily, we should focus inward].
In addition, the halacha is that a goy who doesn't keep the מצות in which he is obligated is חייב you know what.
וכן צוה משה רבינו מפי הגבורה לכוף את כל באי העולם לקבל מצוות שנצטוו בני נח, וכל מי שלא יקבל - תסתכל בפנים לראות מה עושים לו (הלכות מלכים ח, י)
As much as we can we are responsible for the behavior of those around us - even goyim. Of course today we are very limited in our power and cannot ENFORCE Torah law [so please don't carry out the pask of the Rambam] but of course we should try as best we can, with ways of peace and pleasantness, to bring people to a knowledge of G-d.
Why would we trouble with the goyim? Live and let live! Get in a tank and put tefillin on Jews in Arkansas and Delaware and let the goyim be.
The Torah says that we can't be blind to them. Every morning we say הודו לה' קראו בשמו הודיעו בעמים עלילותיו - Thank G-d, call out his name, tell the nations his works [of wonder]. Why should we tell the nations anything?? Who cares whether some Chinese guy knows whether or not there is a G-d and how great He is. Let him live his life and you forget that he exists and sing י-ה אכסוף with your children in Bnei Brak!
The answer is that we DO care what the Chinese guy thinks. It IS important to us that he be aware of G-d - and morality. [See the עולת ראיה on this pasuk הפלא ופלא].
Also we have to remember that American values and laws affect Jews as well. Many Jews who are afflicted, sadly, with this spiritual illness [I don't fault them], are looking for validation to openly live such a lifestyle. By protesting the Supreme Court ruling, we negate as much as we can, any possible validation they may feel. Hopefully, this will encourage them to try as best they can to live lives of kedusha.
Every day we await Moshiach whose job is to bring all of mankind back to G-d. Part of this anticipation is expressed by doing what we can now to create such a reality. This means practically that we must act in such a way that we cause a Kiddush Hashem wherever we go. It also means that we should make our voices heard on matters affecting mankind as a whole.
הן עם לבדד ישכון can be a reference to a future era [as per Unkelos]. It can also mean that we are not to be influenced by the Gentiles. It can mean lots of things. It doesn't mean that we adopt a liberal lasseiz faire attitude of live and let live. That is a modern value of acceptance and embrace of all people and lifestyles which is antithetical to Torah.
We should be zoche bi-karov to the kiyum ha-pasuk in Chavakuk כי אז אהפך אל עמים שפה ברורה לקרא כלם בשם י-ה-ו-ה לעבדו שכם אחד
