There are millions of misguided souls who believe in "equality" between men and women. In order to achieve that we would need to have a quota of women in the National Football League. [That wouldn't be pretty.] We also need to make sure we have an equal number of female construction workers as we do male. We would also force men to be nursery school teachers. How come in the world there are about ZERO men who spend all day taking care of other people's babies? Is that fair?
Men and women could only be "equal" if we were created equal but WE ARE NOT. Saying that a man should take over 50 percent of the household chores and child care is silly because women are almost always much better at it, more interested in doing it and not as good as men doing other things that men could be doing in the meantime - like having the main burden of having to support the family. Women don't WANT to be the main bread winner, often at he expense of family time, while for men it comes quite naturally.
When men get together and talk, they almost never discuss their children. Women almost always talk about their children. Chava is called אם כל חי but אדם is not called אב כל חי because women are much more defined by their motherhood than men by their fatherhood. [Rav Soloveitchik]
In just about every case of a parent abandoning the family it is the man. A woman [unless she is mentally ill or on drugs] will never just take off, say "see ya later" and abandon her kids. Women are just much more devoted to family. That is a fact. All this brainwashing about having to have a career does no small amount of harm to children who lose out on motherly love but also to mothers who lose out on just about the greatest experience life has to offer - loving and nurturing children.
"It is usually the men who say that being a mother is harder and more important than any job". Well, it is. Who else can love and care for a child like a mother?? If she doesn't do it - who will? The Hispanic lady who gets paid 20 dollars an hour to do it? Not the same.
If a woman needs to work for financial or existential reasons that is another story. But if the husband is making a nice living and no extra money is needed and the woman is happy as a stay at home mom - let her be. She is a hero. Why is providing one's children with their most basic emotional and physical needs less important that being an occupational therapist or even high tech executive of which there are thousands?
Societal attitudes have changed drastically in the last 40-50 years and I think it has done little good for women. Anything more than 2 or three children is seen as too much. Why don't we view each child as a blessing. In financial terms - if you would offer anyone a billion dollars to kill their child they wouldn't take [even though many parents find themselves wanting to do it for free..]. So each child is worth over a billion dollars. Who is earning over a billion dollars? Are kids not worth it??
Dedicated to my mother, who was, thankfully, a stay at home mother.
