Insanity is famously defined as doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result.
For the last X number of years we have gone through Elul and Tishrei and when Cheshvan came we were basically the same as we were in Chodesh Av. Nothing really changed.
Why?
B/c we just SAID that we were going to change. Saying is often not enough. We all have unhealthy behavioral patterns and unless we make concrete changes we will remain the same. And therein lies the problem b/c we were put on this earth to GROW! The way to grow is to make concrete changes. Talk is cheap [unless you are at your therapist or your lawyer. Then talk is expensive.]
So say the vidui as we are commanded. But think about what you are going to DO differently in order to insure a better outcome than you had in the past.
If you are married and you want to have a better marriage [who doesn't?] - same recipe. TALK to your spouse abt. it but talk isn't enough. What are you going to DO differently to make it a more fulfilling union.
