"Blessed are those who can give without remembering".
“Coming home from work the other day, I saw a woman trying to turn onto the main street and having very little luck because the traffic was a constant stream. I slowed and allowed her to turn in front of me. I was feeling pretty good until, a couple of blocks later, she stopped to let a few more cars into the line, causing us both to miss the next light. I found myself completely irritated at her. How dare she slow me down after I had so graciously let her into traffic!
Even as I was sitting there stewing, I realized how ridiculous I was being. Suddenly, something I read flowed into my mind: ‘I heard someone define ethics as “obedience to the unenforceable. ...” You do it for inner reasons, not because someone is keeping score or because you will be punished if you don't.’ I realized that I had wanted a tit for tat: If I do this nice thing for you, you (or someone) will do an equally nice thing for me.” Kindness is the currency of our hearts, the only currency that can never be subtracted and never be balanced in anyone's ledgers. We choose to be kind because it is the way we want to live our lives, not because we will be rewarded in some way. When we start to keep score, we become closed-hearted: I'm not doing any- thing nice until someone does something good for me. Our acts of kindness are whole unto themselves. They require no acknowledgment and no reward, for the act itself returns us once again to the heart of our own humanity."
Rav Avraham Genechovsky had a rule for himself: When he had done someone a favor in the past - he would never ask that person for a favor. Exactly the OPPOSITE of the way most people operate - he owes me, let me cash in...
