"I witnessed a scene once that really frightened me. It was when I was in high school and a bunch of friends and I had gone to the county fair on a Saturday night. Sometime after midnight when most of who were left at the fairgrounds were drunken high-school and college kids, a fight broke out between a bunch of the guys from the local university and a gang of ‘townies.’ It lasted only about ten minutes before the police broke it up, but it seemed like forever. That was years ago, but it is as clear as if it happened yesterday, because some- thing happened to the people, not just those fighting, but much of the ‘audience’ as well. It was like this terrifying hand had passed over the crowd, sucking out all of their decency, leaving a pack of vicious wild animals in its wake.
The language we use when we talk about explosive anger is instructive. We talk about “losing” control of our temper, or we simply say we “lost it.” But it is not our temper that we lose, it is our humanity; and it is not control that we lose, but our connection to the Divine. This fall from grace is sometimes obvious, but every time we begin to simmer, snap, and harden toward another, we are in the process of abandoning our humanity. Every act of disrespect, condescension, and judgment severs our connection to one another, for kindness and understanding are the sacred cords that bind us together. In their absence, we drift into the horrible abyss. Sometimes holding onto that connection, particularly when we are provoked, is very difficult. At times like those, we need to call upon all our resources to quiet our minds and hold onto our reason so that we might extend rather than sever the cords of kindness. It doesn't have to be something as extreme as a gang fight. Every time we curb our temper toward our spouse, children, or other people, we become agents of human connection rather than participants in its breach."
