B'chasdei Hashem, over the past almost 20 years, Beis Mevakesh Lev has produced over 13,300 audio shiurim and over 31,000 written posts, unmatched by any one-person website - all completely free of charge. There are no paywalls or anything else. Now we are turning to you for help so we can continue - any amount will help. Even 99 cents! Thank you to my sweetest and most beloved friends!!!:-)!!
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1. The Ontological Equation: Parents as Divine Partners
The shiur begins by analyzing the Tur (Yoreh Deah 240), which codifies that the honor and reverence due to parents are legally and spiritually equated to the honor and reverence due to God.
Scriptural Parallels: The speaker highlights how the Torah uses identical phrasing for both parties. For honor (Kavod), it says "Honor your father and mother" and "Honor God with your wealth." For fear/reverence (Yirah), it says "A man shall fear his mother and father" and "You shall fear the Lord your God."
The Three Partners: Citing Masechet Kiddushin, the shiur reiterates that a human being is formed by three partners: The Holy One, Blessed be He, the father, and the mother. This is not merely biological; it is a spiritual reality.
Rabbeinu Yona’s Radical Insight: The speaker emphasizes a concept from Rabbeinu Yona’s Iggeres HaTeshuva: Since the world was created for God's glory, and parents are partners in that creation, honoring parents is the mechanism by which one honors God.
The Converse: Consequently, if one does not honor their parents, they are fundamentally failing to honor God. It is impossible to bypass the "junior partners" (parents) to pay homage to the "Senior Partner" (God).
Rav Yosef: This is illustrated by the Amora Rav Yosef, who, upon hearing his mother’s footsteps, would say, "I must rise, for the Shechinah (Divine Presence) is approaching." This was not hyperbole; he understood that the presence of the parent carries the weight of the Divine.
2. The Structural Placement: The Ramban’s Classification
The class explores why Kibbud Av V’Em is located on the first tablet of the Ten Commandments.
Bein Adam LaMakom: Traditionally, the first five commandments concern the relationship between Man and God, while the second five concern Man and Man. By placing parental honor on the first tablet, the Torah classifies it effectively as a Bein Adam LaMakom (Man-to-God) precept.
First and Last Cause: The Ramban explains that God is the "First Father" (the ultimate creator), while biological parents are the "Last Father" (the immediate creators). By training oneself to honor the immediate source of one's existence, one climbs the ladder to recognizing and honoring the Ultimate Source.
3. The "Hava Amina": The Logical Struggle for Hierarchy
A significant portion of the shiur is dedicated to understanding a specific derivation in the Gemara (Bava Metzia 32a) and Tanna D'bei Eliyahu.
The Problem: The Torah must explicitly state: "You shall fear every man his mother and his father, and keep My Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God" (Leviticus 19:3). Why is the clause about Shabbos necessary here?
The "Hava Amina" (Initial Assumption): Because the honor of parents is so equated with the honor of God, one might logically assume (the Hava Amina) that if a father commands his son to violate the Sabbath or eat non-kosher food, the son should obey. The logic creates a potential contradiction: If honoring the father is honoring God, perhaps obeying the father's command to sin is actually the correct fulfillment of God's will.
The Resolution: The verse concludes "I am the Lord your God" to establish hierarchy. The Gemara explains: "You and your father are both obligated to honor Me." Therefore, the parents' authority is derivative; they cannot command the violation of the Source of their own authority.
4. Halachic Conflict: "Give Me Water" vs. The Mitzvah
The shiur moves from theory to practical law (Halacha) regarding conflicting duties.
The Scenario: A father asks for water at the exact moment a mitzvah becomes available to the son (e.g., burying the dead or attending a funeral).
The Distinction:
Mitzvah that cannot be done by others: If no one else can perform the mitzvah, the son must leave the father and perform the mitzvah. Why? Because the father is also obligated in that mitzvah. Even if the father isn't personally doing it, he is subject to the Commander who ordered it.
Mitzvah that can be done by others: If the mitzvah can be delegated, the son should perform Kibbud Av (get the water) and let someone else do the mitzvah.
The Insight: The speaker argues that if Kibbud Av were merely a subset of obeying God, one might think any direct command from God (a mitzvah) should override the father's request. The fact that we prioritize the father when the mitzvah can be delegated proves that Kibbud Av has independent standing as a supreme obligation, superseded only when there is an unavoidable direct conflict with the "Senior Partner."
5. The Meshech Chochmah: Transmission of Tradition
Finally, the shiur cites the Meshech Chochmah to explain the "Reason for the Mitzvah" (Ta'ama D'kra).
Beyond Gratitude: While gratitude (Hakaras HaTov) is important, it is not the primary driver of this commandment.
The Chain of Sinai: The validity of the Torah rests on the Masorah (tradition)—the fact that millions stood at Sinai and told their children, who told their children.
The Danger of Disrespect: If a generation views their parents as archaic, foolish, or unworthy of honor, the chain of transmission snaps. If the parent is not credible, then the story of Sinai they tell is not credible.
Conclusion: Therefore, honoring parents is the bedrock of Jewish faith. It is the vessel through which the revelation at Sinai is carried through history. Without Kibbud Av V’Em, there is no Torah.
