Regarding the previous post:
One of the prime indicators of the magnitude of a person is how much he talks about himself, his accomplishments, his needs, his hopes etc. etc. The MORE he speaks of himself, the smaller he is. The less he talks of himself, the bigger he is. [I know someone who gives a shiur. Somehow, every shiur is focused on the same topic. Him. He finds a way to weave everything he is talking about around himself].
This is a dead giveaway b/c people think that when they talk about themselves, they are impressing others. But a discerning observer understands that this self absorbed person is in all likelihood superficial and interested far more in his public image than in being a fundamentally solid human being. Part of personal greatness is making sure that people are UNAWARE of your accomplishments.
The Rav ztz"l has a line in one of his sfarim that haunts me: There is no end to the harm that a person does to himself when he thinks about himself too much. [It haunts me b/c he is essentially telling me that I am engaged in constant daily self harm. Shrrriiiiiiiiiinnkkkkkkk here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]. Of COURSE one must think about himself. But how much??? There is a limit and most of us go faaaar beyond the limit.
If one is self aware and mindful he will probably discover to his horror that close to one hundred percent of his thoughts are about himself. [Women think about themselves, too. I use the generic "him". In general however it would seem that the egos and self absorption of women are far smaller than that of men]. Even when he thinks of others, it is in the context of himself.
This can be overcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With self awareness, mindfulness and heavy duty MUSSAR.
הַחֲזֵ֣ק בַּמּוּסָ֣ר אַל־תֶּ֑רֶף נִ֝צְּרֶ֗הָ כִּי־הִ֥יא חַיֶּֽיךָ
