Once upon a time there was a king named Rechavam. The Jews came to him and said "Hey, things are rough. Taxes are high, the workload is heavy, Please make it easier."
He consulted the elders who told him "Make things easier on the people. They have a point."
Then he consulted the younger advisers who told him "Don't listen to the people. Be even tougher with them."
Who do you think he listened to? The younger advisers. BAD MOVE. There was a rebellion and lotsa bad stuff. [See Melachim 1/12]
From here the gemara learns that one should listen to the elders.
Practical applications: Many.
Here's one: You are single [if you are]. You are in a relationship and want advice. I mean - what do you know about marriage? You've never been married before.
So you ask your big sister for advice.
NOOOOOOO. Nothing against your big sister but chances are all your big sister knows about marriage and relationships is based on her own personal experiences but she is unable to see the bigger picture.
What about your aunt? Probably the same.
What about your best friend? Even worse.
So here is my advice: Go to somebody WHO HAS VAST EXPERIENCE in this area, such as a Rabbi or Rebbetzin who has been dealing with this for a looong time. Go to somebody whom other people go to. Someone with a reputation for understanding this area and giving wise counsel. Somebody who is objective. A person who can see many different possibilities and doesn't have a one-dimensional view of life [I find that many people can only see life one way - their own]. Others might well lead you astray.
When I was engaged I solicited advice from married people and in retrospect I realize they were just telling me about their own marriages. Since I didn't end up marrying any of their wives I found what they told me to be quite meaningless. In general I have found that when making life decisions I have been most successful when following my own intuition. Since just about nobody really knows me inside out -with the exception of my internist [I made that up - I don't have an internist but I thought that it would be funny] - and only a person who truly knows me can give me counsel, the best candidate is myself. The one other person I go to for counsel today [besides me] trusts my intuition as well. Make sure the person you ask DISCUSSES it with you and is interested in your way of looking at things. I am very suspicious of people who think they know it all. You should be, too.
Thoughts?
