Aufruffs

We all know of the custom to celebrate the Shabbos before a wedding that is called by Ashkenazim "aufruff". Now that is a funny name. Reminds me of something a dog might say.
"Aufruff!"

The custom in these parts is that the chosson's friends all get together and throughout Shabbos exchange many high fives and hugs. At meals they rise in turn and tell funny stories about the chosson from their childhood. I am usually asked to speak because the chosson wants to give me kavod and make me feel good. Problem is, I have no funny stories to tell about him. I never went to school or camp with him and our relationship usually revolved around learning. Not so much "funny" stuff going on in the beis medrash. So I am tempted to collect all the funny stories and tell them at different aufruffs about other chassanim - but that would be less than honest.... Plus they'd catch me "So I remember at Morasha, one summer late at night, the chosson and I cut the ropes off all the boats in order to let them loose and they floated to the middle of the lake. I then quickly disappeared, called the division head and the chosson was standing there and caught red-handed. He was kicked out of camp. I was promoted for telling on him." Laughs. Someone whispers - "Hey Ehrman, the chosson never went to Morasha." Woops.

What is the purpose of telling all these stories?

First of all, there is value in laughing. It is therapeutic.

Second, it gives the chosson a sense of perspective as to how far he has come. He used to be an immature little kid and now he is a ben torah about to build a holy home with a bas torah. He is no longer a high school hockey star but a serious, spiritually motivated seeker of what is eternal. Knowing how much you have grown is a boon to further growth.

Before the Jews entered the land of Israel, Moshe Rabbeinu gave a long mussar shmooze reminding the Jews of their misbehavior in the desert. It wasn't a particularly funny speech but it did give the Jews a sense of perspective of where they were and what they must become.

At my aufruff I had no childhood friends as it took place in Israel and I grew up in New York. So I missed having a comical perspective on how far I had come. But I had it with the Rebbe Shlita. He once called me up at a tisch to sit next to him. I couldn't refuse. So there I am at the head table next to the Rebbe Shlita and I'm thinking something like "Ally Ehrman, Camp Lavi color war general [summer of '87 if I recall], backup MTA point guard [very backup...], rabid Mets fan, follower of the Cosby Show, unsuccessful student [my mother won't let me tell how bad..], barely a friend in the world [maybe that's another reason I had none at my aufruff], with posters of "gedoilim" such as Bernard King and Jesse Orosco in his bedroom, pool player in Miami Beach on Pesach, etc. etc. now sitting next to the holiest man on G-d's green earth." To quote an old advertisement "You've come a long way baby."

So that was sort of like an aufruff speech [without the funny stories]. But here's the kicker [this is going to be painful for me but I am going to write it anyway]. I say to myself "Have you really come far?? Maybe the Rebbe called you up for the same reason the boys ask you to speak at their aufruffs - to give you kavod and to make you feel good. But you are really a zero." That being the case - I must GET TO WORK. Sweet friends - I have to return to Hashem and become a true, sincere Jew. This is not to bring me to melancholy, G-d forbid. This is to elevate me from the mud in which I am mired. I will then be clean and pure.

I like that idea.

Clean and pure.

I hope you'll help me....