Resumes

When I was looking to get married there were no such things as shidduch resumes. Things have changed and today having a resume seems standard procedure. Some people send me these resumes to ask what I think about the person.

So I will tell you what I think. I think that resumes tell you ALMOST nothing about the person. A person is a neshama. What does knowing that she is studying speech therapy and that her mother is the mikvah lady tell you about this girl's neshama?

Nothing.

The boy learns in Yeshivas Toras Boris. He also has an accounting degree. What do you know about him?

Ditto, nothing. [Except maybe that he is Russian and good with numbers....]


Just some superficial information that have no impact on his ability to be a good husband.

So I am not saying we should do away with resumes. This superficial information is a good start. If he is a really frum boy from Flatbush learning in Torah Va'daas, knowing that she is a Talmudic fellow at Drisha who aspires to the Rabbinate might be an indicator that they are not compatible.

But let us not reduce people to a few empty words on a piece of paper.

It's an insult to the neshama.