This past shabbos I went to Tveria with the Tolna Rebbe Shlita and a few hundred chassidim for a shabbos of spiritual elevation. If you know me, you know that my life and home are conducted based on the guidance and blessings of the Rebbe Shlita. That is what made it so special to spend a whole shabbos with him.
Over shabbos the Rebbe worked very hard. First there was the long tiring trip to Tveria. Then he spoke in between קבלת שבת and מעריב. After maariv he said "good shabbos" and sometimes a personal message to each of the hundreds of people who walked past him. Then he led a meal for a few hours talking a large part of the time and leading zemiros. After the meal he gave a shiur followed by a long tisch where he again led the singing and shared divrei Torah. After sleeping for a few hours [I assume..] he gave a shiur before shachris followed by a long davening [and you should hear him daven! קולות וברקים] while having to tell the chassidim numerous times to stop talking during davening and krias hatorah.... Then he conducted another meal all the while thinking who deserves special attention [and שיריים], listening to various chassidim who spoke, speaking himself and leading zemiros. Then a short break [there was a shiur on the schedule but I don't know if he gave it as I was out for the count] followed by a loooong drasha at סעודה שלישית. After making havdala and davening maariv, he went to a room where he received each and every person individually. Ahhh, now we get to my point.
I waited on the long line in order to speak to him. This was my chance! What was I going to ask? Parnassa questions [or lack thereof...]? Issues concerning my children? Shalom bayis [18 years and still working on the relationship daily]? A gemara question I have? A bracha? So many possibilities. There wasn't much time for each person but I knew that at a later point he could give me a more complete answer. I was lagging behind in the line but my two boys were ahead of me and it was their turn so the people in line pushed me ahead.
This is my chance! How exciting. My opportunity to get closer to the Divine [no, I don't believe that he is G-d but the Rambam says that when you get close to a tzaddik you are getting closer to Hashem]. What am I going to say? Then I saw him. He looked WIPED OUT. ZONKED. My heart went out to him. Until that moment he been an object for me. What can I get out of him? When I saw his holy face he was transformed into a person. So he said a few words to each of my boys and then handed me some clementines [as per the custom to give out fruit]. I smiled and meekly said "שהרבי ירגיש טוב" [the Rebbe should feel well]. At that moment he stopped being an object that will help me achieve my goals and became a person who is independent of my own narcissistic needs. The Rebbe answered "amen" and I walked backwards [one isn't supposed to turn his back to a Rebbe] and went to the bus that would bring me back to my humble abode in Yerushalayim.
In a way I think I got more from that exchange than if I would have asked for something.
What do you think??
