Giving Mussar - To Whom?

A man has criticism to offer his wife. What should he do?

Sometimes, he should expend that energy on instead criticizing HIMSELF. He won't change his wife - only she can do that. But he CAN change himself.

A Charedi Rabbi has criticism to offer non-charedim. In most instances, since they are not his constituency, they will not listen and only take offense. So what did he accomplish? He increased strife and friction among Jews. If he has something negative to say it should be directed at the people who actually listen to him, won't take offense and will view his words as a trigger for personal growth. The same applies to other groups. MO rabbonim should be focused on the many maladies of their own communities and not on what is wrong with the charedim. Not because there is nothing wrong with the charedim but because their words of admonishment will not be taken well and only cause dissension.

I am not referring to any particular statements of any specific rabbonim because frankly I try to avoid reading the news and don't know who has been talking recently that has made people so offended. I am just drawing on a lesson I learned from Mori Vi-rabbi Shlita who dishes out some intense mussar but 100 percent of the time it is for people who would be receptive to his message and NEVER about other groups.

I hope that I am zoche to follow in his footsteps. If I don't, I need him to set me straight.
[For the record, I have asked him in the past to set me straight and spoke to him a few days ago from here in New York with a request to tell me where I went wrong on a certain issue and how to fix it. People email and speak to me to set me on the right and narrow as well. One of the 48 kinyanei torah is אוהב את התוכחות - loving rebuke].