Understanding The Charedi Weltanschauung [Hashkafa]

A response to an email sent by a beloved friend.


One of the major problems in relationships is the lack of effective communication. Too many men expect women to think like men and relate to them that way. Women can't and won't ever think like men. They are physiologically and emotionally wired so much differently that in order to talk to one's wife effectively, he has to speak "wife-ese" just like when he talks to a person from China he must speak Chinese. Otherwise his words will either be misunderstood or not understood at all.


When talking to a charedi one must speak "Charedi-ese". One must use their frame of reference and step into their shoes and only then is there a chance to understand them.


So let us get to current events.... The battle cry is "If not army, then at least national service!!" Sounds great! Why not??


I will explain: For a charedi the word "national" is essentially two four letter words [count...:-)]. They feel that that the State has been waging war against them from the very outset. Would you want to work for your enemy?? It started when the Zionists stole the Yemenite children from their parents, cut off their peyos and secularized them [this is documented and repeated very often in the charedi world]. Since then the government has always been less than sympathetic to religion [in their eyes].


Many argue that the government has also done much good for the charedim such a providing an army to defend them and many, many other services. So why don't the charedim appreciate that? The answer is that some charedim [such as Mori Vi-rabi Shlita who has spoken about this publicly] do appreciate what has been done for them [usually not li-shem shomayim but still ...] but still want to distance themselves from the secularism [read heresy] of the government and state. Others can't appreciate the good because of all of the harm they felt that the government has done. It is like a divorced woman who despises her ex despite all of the benefit she received from him [years of support, children etc.]. She just can't get past the pain. The charedim feel that the government are enemies of G-d and Torah and no benefit that they received can overcome that feeling. They may or may not be right but this is how they feel. In therapy we allow the client to feel as he does without judging.... That is a show of RESPECT. Let us respect their feelings even if we feel differently.


Also, once they are doing this national service they are under the jurisdiction of a secular entity. They don't want to have to listen to a chiloni named Opher. They want to be under the jurisdiction of their rabbonim and spiritual leaders. [That is why they are so stridently opposed to national service for girls. The Chazon Ish said "יהרג ואל יעבור"].


"Service" - For a charedi "service" is davening and learning and keeping mitzvos. "Service" in this context is "chesed". So let's call it "national chesed". Well, charedim do more chesed than any other community and do this chesed for everyone who needs it regardless of his or her religious affiliation. They don't need or want any guy without a kippah on his head to tell them when, where and how to do chesed. There are principals and guidelines when to do chesed and when to learn Torah which are not honored or understood by the secular. For a charedi, chesed is one of the three pillars upon which the world stands. Nobody has to tell them to do chesed, especially when it is a chesed for the community at large. But for them the world was created for Torah. When a frum girl, a bas Torah, looks for a shidduch, the first thing on her list is someone who is devoted to becoming a talmid chochom. In the religious community, the leaders and heroes are the greatest scholars and not the hatzola guys - even though they appreciate the hatzola guys. But ten hatzola guys don't equal one Rav Ovadia or Rav Eliyashiv, both ztz"l. Are they wrong? Many think so but that is how they see the world and understand ratzon Hashem.


In fact, charedim perform national service better than everyone else: R' Shlomo Aviner once said that the greatest national service is having children and building families. Nobody does this better than the charedim.


For a charedi, the notion of army and national service is a non-starter. The army for them is no less treif than a McDonald's cheeseburger [due to tzniyus and other issues as we discussed in a previous post] and national service is entry into the secular establishment which endangers the perpetuation of pure shmiras Ha-Torah.


Many of my readers disagree with this perspective. You can disagree but understanding that their attitudes don't stem from evil character and selfishness [as they are often portrayed] will go a long way to bringing ahavas yisrael.


If a boy is not learning [as many aren't] then there are Gedolim who feel that the army and national service are the answers for such a boy.


Many people complain about the support yeshivos receive from the government. Universities, sports teams, CHURCHES, museums, ARABS [our sworn enemies] etc. etc. receive governemental support. Why shouldn't charedim who are also taxpayers and contribute to the country [even if one doesn't appreciate their Torah, quite a few charedi men work and almost every charedi wife does too. They have yet to open up a charedi kollel for women. NCSY's summer michlelet program doesn't count...] receive a piece of the pie? Why shouldn't they use their political power to get as much as they can as every other group does??


Are charedim perfect?? Far from it. But they are also the group of Jews who are doing everything they can to preserve Torah and it is primarily them who have revived Torah all over the world after it was destroyed 70 years ago.


I humbly suggest that those who choose not to be charedi respect what they do and the good they bring to the world. An little ayin tova goes a far way.....


And yes, the charedim have much to learn from the Dati-Leumi [as Mori Vi-rabi has said publicly]. Charedim don't have a monopoly on Torah and goodness.