Many years ago there was a gathering of prominent Rabbonim in Europe in order to discuss the critical issues of the time. One Rav arose and gave a fire and brimstone speech, pointing out the many flaws in the behavior of the Jewish people. After he finished, arose the great Gaon and Tzadik HaRav Menachem Zemba ztz"l [who was later killed by the Nazis in the Warsaw Ghetto, Pesach 1942 הי"ד] and quoted our Rashi. Asked Rav Zemba - The parsha that Yisro added does not start with the words ואתה תחזה [means look for worthy judges] but even earlier with the words לא טוב הדבר אשר אתה עושה - What you are doing [judging the Jews alone] is not good. Why does Rashi not quote THAT pasuk?
Answered the Holy Rav - לא טוב is not a parsha. Just criticizing doesn't have any merits!! The parsha only really begins when we search for solutions. ואתה תחזה - find worthy judges. THAT is a parsha! [Heard from the Tolna Rebbe Shlita]
The prevalent custom and beloved hobby of Jewish bloggers is to knock the charedi world. They enjoy pointing out the many maladies that afflict the Torah true world, trying to prove that they are not so "Torah true". Is the criticism justified? Much of it - yes. Charedim are human beings who are by definition imperfect. Sometimes even rabbis say and do inappropriate things and then it is mamesh a yuntiv for the media.
Let us use the model of a married couple. They come for therapy filled with complaints about their spouse. What a good therapist does is try to give the couple perspective. One way is to focus on the positive in the spouse. Nobody is all bad. Everybody has redeeming qualities.
The charedim also have [as a community] many, many redeeming qualities that everybody can learn from and try to emulate.
1] Chesed - There is an incredible amount of chesed that goes on in every charedi neighborhood. There are gmachs [free-loan funds] for almost everything: Money, pacifiers, medicine, low shiva chairs, clothing etc. etc. When a woman gives birth, the other ladies in the community organize meals for the first month after birth. When someone is sick in the hospital, besides the chesed organizations that help find the best medical care, there is also often a steady flow of visitors. I know of no other community where chesed is practiced as it is by the charedim.
2] Middos - Every chodesh av thousands of ladies gather in a large stadium to hear shiurim on how to speak less lashon hara and how to love each other more. Where else do you see that? Not every charedi has perfect middos, but I often see people with open mesilas yesharim's or other mussar sfarim because there is a basic charedi ethic that a person must constantly be involved in perfecting his character. When the Rov in a charedi shul rises to speak on shabbos, he doesn't talk about politics but about how we can learn from the parsha to be a better person.
3] Torah - How many MO balabatim can read a gemara without the help of an Artscroll? Very few... Thousands upon thousands of pages of gemara are learned daily thanks to Artscroll - a charedi publishing company. Every day about 2 new sfarim on published on endless numbers of topics. You have regular people walking the streets who have been successfully tested on all of Shas. Thousands upon thousands of men live lives that revolve completely around the eternal word of Hashem. They sacrifice material security and the endless pleasures that this world has to offer in order to dedicate themselves to full time Torah study [and kudos to the wives who selflessly give of themselves so that their husbands and sons can learn].
4] Children - Hitler ימ"ש killed one and a half million children. Every child is another victory over Hitler. Instead of searching for personal comfort and ease, charedi families have large numbers of children, thus insuring the propagation of our people and the great message we have to offer the world at large.
The list is long and I will let you add. My point is that with all of their faults - the charedi community has much positive to emulate even by those who choose not to be charedi. This doesn't mean the non-charedi communities have nothing to offer and to learn from - there is a tremendous amount of good in non-charedi communities.
All a person needs is an ayin tova and then he can proclaim with great feeling...
ועמך כולם צדיקים
It is almost impossible for me not to end this post with a quote from Maran HaRav ztz"l in his Oros -
האהבה הגדולה שאנו אוהבים את אומתנו לא תסמא את עינינו מלבקר את כל מומיה, אבל הננו מוצאים את עצמיותה, גם אחרי הביקורת היותר חופשית, נקיה מכל מום. כולך יפה רעיתי ומום אין בך
