This post is not for children!!!
But IS for everybody else.
There are basically two categories of people in the world.
In one category are people who are careful about EVERY 1] Machshava, 2] Dibbur and 3] Maaseh. ["MD"M"]
1] Their minds are clean of any illicit material. If such a thought creeps in [and it happens to everyone from time to time], then it is immediately expunged and repented for. They are careful about what they see and read so that their thoughts stay pure. They know that keeping a pure mind is an Avodas Chaim - a lifetime task. The BEST antidote is to have their head deeply immersed in learning whenever possible, as the Doctor of all [human] Doctors, Dr. Moses the son of Maimon taught. When they are not able to learn then they keep busy with other worthy pursuits like working [a mitzva!!], exercise [ALSO a mitzva!!] and spending time with their families [SUPER MITZVA!!].
2] They are also careful about EVERY WORD that comes out of their mouths. Nothing is ever said that is unclean, impure, inappropriate, disparaging etc. etc. If they DO fall at times [who doesn't??] then they feel badly about it, repent and do their best to make sure that it doesn't happen again.
3] They are also careful about their actions. They would never be secluded with a woman other than their wives, don't touch females, avoid places of immodesty and never engage in the act of wasting seed etc. etc.
Then there is category number 2. In this category are people who are NOT dedicated to being careful about the above three mentioned areas.
Now let us approximate statistics. In the first category is almost nobody [about 0%]. In the second is almost everybody [close to 100%]. [Note - Google revealed that it is in the "Bible Belt" among very religious Christians, where pornography has the MOST viewers. And these are people who believe that it is evil and sinful to watch. What about those who have no moral problem with it?]
Really.
All the scandals that get into the papers and social media are a fraction of what really goes on. Because that is the culture. So don't trust ANYBODY. Be dan li-kaf zchus but also know that you never know and it is often the person who you would LEAST EXPECT who is most deeply submerged in the mud.
In our society, it is not even considered a VIRTUE to be careful about "MDM". Like - why? Machshava - If fantasizing about Arayos gives one pleasure then why deny oneself, goes the prevalent belief. Dibbur - If one wants to speak a certain way then why should he be denied personal expression?? When one turns on the TV or goes on-line, he can hear very bad words, many references to matters that should be private, a lot of talk about private organs and the like. This is considered totally acceptable and even famous, respected personalities defile their mouth with vulgarities. And the third area "Maaseh" - is totally not on people's radar to be careful about. When two non-Jews are dating, this is another way of saying that they are sleeping together. They are often already fooling around on the first date [and if he doesn't make a pass at her, the girl wonders if he is at all attracted to her] and maybe, if he is on the shy side - it takes until the second. Nobody gets married without having been intimate many times. It is the norm to live together for a while before marriage. It is also the norm that married couples publicly [and of course privately] kiss and hug other people's spouses.
We have to know this in order to emphasize [and we can't emphasize this enough] that we live in a society whose values are TOTALLY in conflict with our values. [The Rambam taught that if we live in a world such as HIS - a religious Muslim culture - one must run away to the desert to escape. What would he say today??] We also have to know that even if one is considered a "good guy" by the outside world, he could very well be classified as the opposite according to our value system [and most importantly - in the Eyes of Hashem].
There are many many frum Jews who WANT to be careful about MD"M but struggle mightily. They definitely get credit for "fighting the fight" but the goal is not just to fight but to be victorious. שבע יפול צדיק וקם - A Tzadik is one who falls seven times but gets up and comes out victorious [as the Rosh Yeshiva ztz"l wrote in his famous letter].
This is IT. Hopefully the last minutes before Moshiach and the battle between Good and Bad, Pure and Impure, Light and Darkness is HEAVY!!!
We have to be in the fight and not let the values and behaviors of the entire society creep in. We also have to remember that our BASIC NATURE is to succumb to our base desires. "Ki yetzer lev ha-adam ra mi-niurav" - We are created with strong inclinations and if we don't fight them, then our default mode is to fall - big time. We ALSO have a G-dly soul which will never allow us to be happy when we deviate from the will of Hashem. There is a constant conflict. The rest of the world is not even aware that the conflict exists, they live as they do, go from relationship to relationship, and don't understand why they are so often so unhappy. We are privileged to know the secret of the two opposing forces [known affectionately as "yetzer hatov" and "yetzer hara"]. We also know that a relationship built on lust NEVER EVER lasts. But our yetzer still tells us bubbe mysos and tries to get us however it can. We can never stop battling and must use the eitzos given to us by our Chachomim to come out on top.
So sweet friends - chazak chazak vinischazeik!!!!
Barasi yezer hara - barasi TORAH tavlin!!!!!
