LAKEWOOD, NJ — Costco announced this week that it would be rolling out new "Frum Family Size" items, catering to the unique needs of families whose grocery lists more closely resemble a small catering business.
The move came in response to overwhelming demand in areas like Lakewood, Monsey, and Passaic, where enormous families needed quantities significantly larger than Costco’s traditional portions to feed what neighbors often describe as "a small kehillah of children."
"We’ve noticed our usual product sizes don't quite cut it for a standard Shabbos table," Costco spokesperson Natalie Carson told reporters at a press conference outside the Cedarbridge Avenue location. "We believe this new sizing option will greatly benefit the 'B.A.H.' community—those who prefer to be identified as 'Bli Ayin Hara, we have twelve kids' families."
The new size options will include:
A 9-foot-tall crate of Bamba.
Orange juice sold in 100-gallon industrial vats (specifically for the post-Shacharis rush).
Eggs sold by the pallet rather than the dozen, specifically for the "Thursday night kugel marathon."
Paper plates sold in units of 10,000, or "one week’s supply," as it’s known in most households.
"I am absolutely thrilled!" said local mother Mrs. Rivka Silberstein, while trying to fit a commercial-sized box of grape juice into her 15-passenger van. "Now I only have to buy six pallets of eggs for Pesach instead of making twenty trips. It makes life so much simpler, Baruch Hashem."
Costco announced the product offerings will appear on shelves just in time for the "Yom Tov Season," which for the community begins somewhere around the end of August and doesn't technically end until the last piece of Matzah is swept up in the spring.
At publishing time, Costco had also rolled out "Chabad Shaliach Size" options for those who need to feed an entire campus of hungry college students on a Friday night, or one single Israeli backpacker who eats like ten people, whichever the local Rabbi decides is the priority this week.
