What did the waiter ask the group of Jewish mothers?
"Is anything alright?"
A young Catholic priest decided to enter a monastery. He joined one particularly strict sect. The head monk told him, at his indoctrination, that they were sworn to TOTAL silence. They could not speak one word at all. However, every ten years, they would be permitted to speak two words. After 10 years of total silence, the head monk indicated it was now time for him to speak his two words. The monk said, “Bed hard!” And then he resumed his silent study and work. Another 10 years passed and the head monk again indicated it was time for him to speak his two words. The monk said, “Food bad!” And then he resumed his silent study and work. Another 10 years passed and the head monk again indicated it was time for him to speak his two words. The monk said, “I quit!”The head monk shook his head and said, “I knew this was coming. You’ve done nothing but complain for the past 30 years!”
I often hear after someone passes away that the person never complained. She went through Aushwitz and had an incredibly difficult life - but never complained. He had all sorts of physical ailments, lived in poverty, lost close family members, was blind, deaf and dumb - but never complained. And so on and so forth.
To set the record straight - I always complain [one less thing to say at my eulogy - sorry:-)]. Sometimes I will verbally express my complaints. Other times I will think them. Feeling frustated is ALSO a form of complaining. So is [unless it is purely chemical and can't be controlled] depression and anger. Being envious of the success of other in light of one's own failures [a feeling I often experience] is a HUUUUGE type of complaint. It is saying "It's not fair that he is successful while I am not". Getting annoyed that one has to go to the doctor for various physical ailments is also a type of complaint.
True "not complaining" is when one is 100 at peace with his or her circumstances. Where everything that happens to him or her is JUST PER-FECT. Where one only sees the good in one's circumstances. From a traffic jam to pancreatic cancer to failed relationships to the demise of people close to him to financial or professional hardships to pains in bringing children into the world and then raising them. Everything that happens is not only accepted but embraced and celebrated. 9 thousand shekel minus in the bank? GREAAATTT!!! The flu, in bed, can't move? AWE-SOME!! Married to a person who is NOT what you expected [in a negative way]? WONDERFUL!!
I don't know how many people are on this level. I am certainly light years away. If you are also not there yet then your job [and mine] is to strive and work to get there.
We do that by davening for Hashem's help and by constantly learning, talking and thinking emunah and bitachon. Knowing that whatever happens is EXACTLY what you need to make your unique tikkun on earth and that other people's successes have NOTHING to do with you. There will ALWAYS be things not to your liking and there will ALWAYS be people who seem to have it better in certain areas.
So let go, accept, embrace, focus on the here and now, what you have and not what you lack. When you start thinking about what you lack then remember that you NEEEEEDD to lack this in order to fulfill your task. You can daven for it - but until you get it you don't need it. One often hears the refrain "life isn't fair". That is not correct. Life [i.e. Hashem], is PERFECTLY fair.
א-ל אמונה ואין עוול צדיק וישר הוא!
א-ל אמונה ואין עוול צדיק וישר הוא!
May Hashem help us all in this HHUUUUUGGGGGGGEEEEEEEE avoda.