Why is it that we are often so stung by others opinions of ourselves?
It is because we ALLOW their opinions of us to be more important than our opinions of ourselves.
Let me give an example. I once davened in a small shul sporadically for about 15 years. 15 years and not one aliyah. Now - I am not an honor seeker [at least I hope not] but as the years passed I began to wonder what is going on here. The same people get aliyos again and again and I am ignored. Don't they know me? Don't they read my brilliant blog posts? Didn't they ever read my sefarim with the haskamos? Don't they know that I give great shiurim?
The answers were no, no, no and no:-)!
But maybe I am not as important as I think I am? Maybe my sefarim are of poor quality [which would explain why I can barely raise a penny to publish them]? Maybe only three people think that my shiurim are so good. Me, myself and I. Maybe everybody else knows the bare, raw truth of my inadequacy. [That would explain the number of job offers I have received over the years. About the same as the number of gemara pages mastered by Melania Trump]. Maybe nobody reads the blog and the hit counter got so far over a million because there is some OCD kid in China who comes ten thousand times a day.
Maybe.
So here I get to the point.
NOBODY knows your true value. Even you. You are a beautiful neshama. No question about it. A unique sui generis creation that never was and never will be again. This is besides your accomplishments, all of the struggles you have dealt with, all of the mitzvos you have done etc. etc. Only HASHEM knows your true value and potential and the positive effect you have had on this world and all of the celestial worlds.
So back to the shul where I was ignored. It wasn't about ME - It was about them. Regardless of my accomplishments [or lack thereof], my failures [too many to count and many many DOOZERS:-)], shortcomings and the like - there is a holy neshama Elokis that resides within me and ALL OF US that others can never fully appreciate.
Those with a healthy sense of self have some inkling of what makes them unique. We all know about things we have done that were very special even though they weren't publicized on social media so others don't know about it.
So sweetest most beloved friends - my previous post was about loving and appreciating your spouse because if you don't, then who will?! This post is even more basic - Love and appreciate YOURSELF in ways that nobody else can.
Never let others opinions of you be more important than your much more accurate opinion of yourself. No one [besides Hashem] can ever know us like we know ourselves.
