This article appeared in the left of left of left wing Progressive-Regressive-Jerusalem-Post.
Reminds me of the story of the woman who made a beautiful cover for a sefer Torah. But when they tried to put it on it was too small. The lady had the PERFECT solution. "Why don't we cut away part of the Torah to make the cover fit."
She wants to marry a Catholic and is soooo hurt that she is not accepted by the Jewish community. So her solution is CHANGE THE RULES!!! Makes intermarriage OK and make a person Jewish regardless of whether Jewish law considers them Jewish. The only requirement is that SHE consider them Jewish.
She wants, and practices, a Judaism with no laws [so she isn't practicing anything other than a few "feel good" customs as she sees fit]. It is just a social thing for her.
Read it and decide whether to laugh, cry or both. Especially the part about the woman who will have to choose between becoming a rabbi or marrying her Gentile boyfriend. How INTOLERANT can we be!! [I added some comments to keep things lively:-). Didn't appreciate the "sob-story" mehalech].
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It is not surprising that the Jewish community is excited to be represented on the Biden-Harris ticket [we are??]. Political leanings of the community aside, Kamala Harris’s husband, Doug Emhoff, is a member of the tribe, and two of Joe Biden’s children are married to someone who is Jewish.
But sadly, the Jewish community is a bit selective in celebrating interfaith marriage. If it brings us a Jewish second gentleman, we will cheer [most of us really won't]. But interfaith marriage is still taboo to many, and an Orthodox or Conservative rabbi would not have been allowed to preside over the Harris and Emhoff wedding [nor, we hope, would they want to].
American Jews want to celebrate the Jewish ties of any famous person while still discriminating [DISCRIMINATION!! It MUST be stopped!!] against the relationships that tie these individuals to the Jewish community.
One Jewish parent will likely get you placed on a list of Jewish celebrities (Zoe Kravitz, Michael Douglas, Maya Rudolph), but without awards lining your mantle, your Jewish lineage may be questioned or denied. [Actually, all the awards in the world won't make you Jewish if you aren't].
Kamala Harris and Doug Emhoff married in March 2014 at a courthouse ceremony officiated by her sister, Maya [Aramaic for "water" אין מיא אלא תורה! Is her sister related to Maya Rudolph? Or Mayim Bialik?? Or Chaim Bialik???]. Could they have been married in your synagogue, or join as members afterwards? [Not mine!!] If Doug’s children were younger, would Kamala be allowed on the bimah during a b’nai mitzvah? [What is a B'nei Mitzva?? And no - in my shul Kamala would not be allowed in the bima] After both of them, God-willing, [the author believes in G-d. Which G-d? The G-d she invented] live to 120, could they be buried together in your local Jewish cemetery? [No]
As a Jewish woman married to a Catholic man [so his people repeatedly burned your people at the stake and tortured and killed them for not accepting the Christian faith . You ever think about that?], I am often heartbroken as committed Jews who married outside the faith share their stories of rejection by the community. [The community didn't reject them. They rejected the community. you can't break the most basic of rules and expect to be accepted]. One Jewish mother, whose children are enrolled at our local day school, spoke to me about how angry it makes her that, if her husband was the Jewish parent instead of her, there would be no day school options available to her children. [Don't be angry - marry Jewish and problem solved. For your anger problem - therapy].
How many Jews of patrilineal descent are denied educational opportunities because of the gender of their Jewish parent? Other conversations about interfaith families are frequently about the difficulties of getting married — from outright refusals to officiate to interrogations [KGB tactics!!] on how the couple plans on keeping their home and raising their children. [She is SOOOO right! Why should it matter if she is marrying a Goy and their children will attend church on Sunday. The important thing is that they love each other!!].
While I cannot speak from experience, having never married another Jewish person [give it a try!!], I cannot imagine that Jewish couples are subjected to such a gauntlet. [I married Jewish. They aren't].
Thinking back to my own youth, I remember youth group discussions about whether intermarriage was doing what Hitler could not [eliminating the Jewish people] — and I fear that my own children would be exposed to similar programs sanctioned by Jewish institutions that would compare their own parents’ love to the Third Reich that murdered their ancestors [The "love" is not comparable to what the Nazis did. Raising your children as Gentiles will have the same effect of wiping out the Jewish people. Not as bloody and macabre but same result]. I hear community members discussing whether people “look” Jewish and cringe that this false notion could be used to make my blonde-haired blue-eyed children feel like their Jewish lineage is incomplete. [Don't feel bad. Someone once approached me when I was a light blond hair and blue eyed kid in a grocery on 72nd street between Central Park and Columbus and noticing my kippah said "You don't look Jewish, you look Irish!!" I actually thought it was funny].
But more than the countless conversations I have, I am worried about the people that have just left. The couple who had a rabbi refuse to officiate at their wedding, and never walked into a synagogue again. I worry about the young professional who went to his first Jewish conference, heard a speaker say that marrying someone of another faith meant leaving the community, and decided to leave the organization. I worry about the college student considering a future in the rabbinate who learns that she will have to choose between marrying the person she wants and becoming a Rabbi in her denomination. [How about this idea - Don't marry him b/c he isn't Jewish and don't become a rabbi b/c you are a woman. Now you don't have to choose anymore:-)]. The family who cannot find a mohel to perform a bris, and never ends up educating their child in Judaism. [I guarantee you - for enough money they can find a mohel. And you wrote "mohel". Good use of Hebrew!!].
The part that breaks my heart is when I meet a non-Jew who shares with me that their mom or dad was Jewish, but their parent was forced to choose between love and religion. This person is now lost to the community forever. [So TOUCHING how concerned this woman is for the Jewish community].
It is time for full inclusion of all interfaith families in the Jewish community, not just vice presidential nominees and celebrities. In 2013, 44% of all Jews were married to a non-Jew; 58% of those married since 2005, and the trend is seemingly on the rise. [For that - we should rip our clothing].
Doug and Kamala are not a rare exception [yes they are. She is a black woman running for VP. He is a white regular Jewish lawyer. Show me one couple like that]— they represent much of the American Jewish community today. We should make a greater effort to make families like them feel just as included and celebrated. [We don't celebrate. We mourn].
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Maybe, just maybe, deeeeep down inside she understands how wrong she is and thus desperately seeks the approval and validation of the Jewish community so she can have her Catholic husband [who must believe that she is a sinner doomed to burn in hell forever for not accepting Jesus] together with her Jewish connections and feelings intact.
May this lost neshama come back to it's Source.
