ויגש אליו יהודה ויאמר בי אדני ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדני (מד,יח)
The Parshah begins with Yehuda bringing his case to Yosef. But what exactly was he saying new? He seems to be merely repeating the story that he and Yosef already knew and therefore what caused Yosef to now open up to the brothers?
One thing that Yehuda did add was that he made himself an ערב as the Pasuk says כי עבדך ערב את הנער מעם אבי אם לא אביאנו אליך (מד,לב). Yehuda calls Binyamin, his father’s בן זקנים, meaning because his brother died, now Binyamin was his father’s בן זקנים. Yosef once was his father’s בן זקנים who his father loved more than the other brothers. Originally when Yosef was the בן זקנים it was ויקנאו בו אחיו and they hated him because of that. But now, Yosef sees that they actually care about their father’s relationship with the בן זקנים because Yehuda is willing to give himself up in order to prevent his father from losing the בן זקנים. When Yehuda added this point in the beginning of Vayigash, Yosef saw that they corrected this חטא that not only were they not hating the בן זקנים but they were putting themselves out for the בן זקנים and that’s why he opened up to them.
But what can really be asked is that when Yehuda is seemingly just repeating everything that happened in Parshas Mikeitz, he adds things that weren’t said and didn’t happen. The things Yehuda says in the beginning of Parshas Vayigash don’t appear in Parshas Miketz. For example Yehuda says that Yosef asked them היש לכם אב או אח but Yosef never asked the brothers such a thing rather they suggested that information on their own without being prompted by Yosef. Yehuda also adds הורדהו אלי ואשימה עיני עליו and לא יוכל הנער לעזב את אביו ועזב את אביו ומת even though these things weren’t actually said in Parshas Miketz. So what exactly going on that Yehuda is now adding all these things as if they were said. Also what does it mean ויגש אליו יהודה if the last two Psukim of Parshas Miketz ends with Yehuda standing and speaking in front of Yosef?
Maybe this could be explained with the שפת אמת תרלו who says that because the Pasuk is written ויגש אליו יהודה and not ויגש יהודה אליו, there is room for explanation as to who Yehuda was approaching. It could be understood that Yehuda was approaching himself, which is the indication of אליו. The Vayigash of Yehuda was him approaching himself. Sometimes, people, especially when they are having an argument, get preoccupied with the factual details and the objective truth. This makes it difficult for people to see eye to eye because objective reality is actually interpreted in a subjective manner and each has their own narrative. When Yehuda is approaching himself, he is letting go of the objective facts and he is being in touch with himself and presenting how what happened was experienced by him. In such a context, even things that weren’t clearly stated like Yosef asking היש לכם אב או אח, nonetheless they felt that question he was begging for. So Yehuda is presenting the story from his place and that is the ויגש אליו יהודה that he is in touch with his vulnerable self and he was saying over the story as was experienced by him.
When a person exposes his vulnerability and his real self, it doesn’t allow for the other person to remain indifferent and distant. Therefore, Yosef also reveals himself because by Yehuda telling over how he experienced it and not the objective reality, such a thing brings people closer. When one presents his experience and himself and disregards the facts, then the other person can present his experience and open up. When one opens up, the other opens up.
R' Y.W.
