Tuesday, October 18, 2022

No Hakafa This Year

There is a man in my neighborhood who doesn't like me one bit. He is also one of the people in charge of the shul where I davened on Simchas Torah. During Hakafos, one of the people who davened there asked me if I had received a Sefer Torah. I told him that I had not but it is OK. He went up to this man and told him that I had not received a Sefer Torah yet and that he should make sure I get one. The man answered that in fact I already had a Hakafa with a Sefer Torah. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😲😲

The reality is that until that point not only hadn't I gotten the Torah yet but I wasn't even in the main shul. I was in a back room. So it is hard to believe that he really thought that I had gotten the Hakafa.

So my friend came back to me allllll confused stating that so and so said that you already got a Hakafa..... And that was that.

I can't say that it doesn't hurt at all [I enjoy being liked and am naturally very extremely sensitive, for better and for worse....] but not too much B"H. Rabbi Aharon Bina likes to say that he doesn't care if people like him or not as long as Malke [his wife] likes him. So I often tell my wife that I feel the same way. I don't care if people like me as long as Malke Bina likes me. 😊😊

My sense is that she doesn't particularly like or dislike me but rather has much going on in her life so she doesn't think about me much. But at least I don't have to worry about anyone else liking me. 

Another thought I had was that I am so filled with sin במחשבה דיבור ומעשה that I am not worthy of holding the Holy Sefer Torah. So maybe definitely my nemesis is on to something. 

The takeaway lesson for me is to NOT give his name if I ever need a reference for anything.... 😂😂.

May Hashem bless him AND the Jews he hates with ONLY good all the days of their lives 😀👍.