There is a statistic that over seventy percent of Orthodox youth with problems related to their sexual inclinations and identity are suicidal - and all of them are absolutely miserable. [40 percent or so in general society are suicidal and most are very unhappy]. This is very alarming. So there are people who cry out "We must do something!!!" Some even blame religious people as if they are evil and it is their fault.
A] It is not their fault. Religious Jews are by and large good people [even Boston Red Sox fans!!] and don't want anybody to hurt themselves.
B] Of course we have to do something. The question is "what?" Give them legitimacy and say "if that is how you feel then it is OK. You can 'marry' a person of the same gender and that is perfectly fine"? "This is who you are and whatever you do is totally legitimate". That is exactly what our more progressive brethren [some who identify as "Orthodox"] want us to say.
A person can be suicidal and that is tragic but we can't change the word of G-d b/c people have mental problems. There are two conflicting values at play. 1] Not tampering with the unchanging word of G-d. 2] Being sensitive to the delicate emotional state of young people in distress.
So the correct approach is to remain faithful to the first value and find a way to fulfill the second value as well. That would be by telling these children that they are loved by us and by Hashem, that they have done nothing wrong [if they did nothing wrong], that we empathize with their suffering, that they have many wonderful qualities that have NOTHING to do with sexuality, that every mitzva they do has value regardless of their inclinations etc. etc. And them give them therapy with a qualified, believing [in Hashem] therapist.
The answer is not to create a new subcommunity of Orthodox Jews where the norm is to live a lifestyle totally contradictory to basic standards of Kedushah.
