SUICIDE BANNED: King Kim Jong Un Orders North Koreans To Stop Killing Themselves

Kim [Ley Biddiraba Miney] Jong Un characterized suicide as an “act of treason against socialism” and emphasized that local government officials would be held jointly responsible for failing to prevent such incidents within their jurisdictions.

Kim explained that every person has the right to kill himself. That doesn't bother him. If you don't want yourself - he doesn't want you either. But to act with treason against socialism!!! THAT is going TOO FAR!!!

Anybody who successfully commits suicide will be sentenced - in abstentia - to a minimum of two lifetimes in a North Korean prison. Less than 5 star accommodations.

Not pashut.

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You can't make this stuff up. [Except for the parts I make up].