A study was conducted proposing that extroverts have more sex, on average, than introverts. Taking place in West Germany, the experiment used the Eysenck Personality Inventory (EPI) to figure out where participants fall on the personality spectrum. Then, they asked them about how much sex they have, with extroverted men saying 5.5 times a month and introverted men saying 3 times a month. As for extroverted women, they averaged 7.5 times a month whereas introverted women averaged 3 times a month (the same as introverted men, interestingly enough).
Let us assume that this study was accurate and that everybody was telling the truth. Let us also assume that extroverts need more sexual contact than introverts. So what happens when one spouse is extroverted and the other is introverted? They have different needs and desires which will often not coincide with the needs of their partners. Even if both are introverts or extroverts it is inconceivable that their sexual needs will match up exactly. There are ALWAYS going to gaps between them. So what is the couple to do?
I am not presenting answers in this post. What I want to say is that this problem/conflict applies to every marriage under the sun [unless it is a homosexual married to a lesbian - then they can both agree to be disinterested in the other. Then again - they will have other problems....]. Yet, it is never almost addressed - until the couple goes to therapy and by then it is often too late. But [almost] no chosson or kallah is learning about this problem [it seems]. So some couples figure it out themselves and work out solutions. Others suffer - for decades. And in turn, the children suffer from the tension. And they pass it on to their children and it turns into a vicious cycle. So it is not a narrow question of how many times a month a couple is having sex but a much more broad issue that has long term ramifications for the mental health of the entire family.
Moreover - a person's tension affects his or her work as well. So a doctor will be a less effective and caring doctor if he is suffering from his wife and a social worker will be a less patient and caring social worker if she is suffering from her husband. [I'm aware that women can be doctors and men can be social workers...]
My point is that this issue should be openly addressed by the couple BEFORE MARRIAGE and throughout. That is the job of the chosson and kallah teachers. Not only to say what is forbidden but what is permitted... and obligatory.
