Peterman is probably, like, 96th. Or maybe 97th. Wait: are we counting Calev Williams? Tom [Bob married to Carol] Brady? Taysom [the Chill] Hill? Maybe we need to rethink the calculations. But any way we slice it, Peterman is definitely in the top 150 or so out of about eight billion humans [and billions more from the animal kingdom], placing him in the top .0000000018th percentile globally in his profession.
As an NFL starter, however, Peterson has never not been horrendous. His five-interception starting debut for the Bills in 2017 was the stuff of legend. Given two more spot starts in relief of rookie Josh Allen in 2018, Peterman threw five interceptions in games the Buffalo Bills lost by a combined score of 88-12. Given a Week 18 start for the Bears last year, Peterman threw for just 114 yards in a 29-13 loss to the Minnesota Vikings, whose starters were playing cornhole on the sideline after halftime. Other teams say psalms before the game, asking G-d that Peterman be put in.
Starting Peterman is better than tossing a rookie wide receiver who played a little quarterback in high school into the huddle and telling him to run the Wildcat, but not by much. Peterman earned his status as the NFL’s worst third-string quarterback by proving over and over again how ineffective he is, something few of his peers get a chance to do.
The NFL ratified a new rule on Monday allowing third-string quarterbacks to be active on game day without consuming a precious roster spot. That means that a team like the San Francisco 49ers won’t be forced to return an injured Brock Purdy to the NFC Championship Game and lose by 24 points. Instead, they can insert a Peterman type and lose by 20!
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Why is this relevant?? Stam Lashon Hara* for the sake of Lashon Hara?? NO!! CHAS VI-SHALOM!! Li-toeles!!!
Because I am the third string gabbai in my Shabbos morning minyan. When the first string and second string gabboim don't make it - they call in the lefty from the bullpen [OK - I am confusing my sports now but I am in fact a lefty]. Today was one of those special days where they called the third stringer in. Unfortunately for the Oilam, nobody seemed to want to be chazan for Mussaf, so I stepped in and they had to suffer through me trying to do a pseudo-Carlebach Chazaras Hashatz ["pseudo" b/c I left my guitar at home].
Wow - here we have more similarities!! I too am the younger son of, well, not a pastor, thankfully, but someone who DOES drink pasteurized milk. I credit my JEWISH faith in helping me face adversity [like having gone undrafted in 51 consecutive NFL drafts]. I too am married to a woman who goes to "Shull" and while she was not my college girlfriend from Tennessee - should COULD have been had I ever gone to college and ever been in Tennessee.
And had she been foolish enough to be my girlfriend.
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* אין איסור לשון הרע על גוי. החפץ חיים כתב כמה מקומות שמי שיצא מכלל "עמיתך" (לדוגמא, גוי) אין עליו איסור לשון הרע (הלכות לשון הרע כלל ח’ סעיף ה’, בסוף כלל ט’ הלכות רכילות).
