G-d help him.
Less than 24 hours after a special counsel was named to probe Hunter Biden’s alleged tax and gun crimes, and while GOP investigators continued to search his bank records for signs of influence-peddling, the first son was begging the Big Guy upstairs for justice – as he led a public prayer at his nephew’s bar mitzvah.
The Aug. 12 trip to Marietta, Georgia brought Biden, 53, and wife Melissa Cohen to a suburban synagogue for the coming-of-age ceremony for Cohen’s brother’s son.
“Our God and God of our ancestors and God of my good rich friends from China,” Biden beseeched the Almighty in the traditional “Prayer for the Country” at the Shabbat morning service of Congregation Etz Chaim, Hebrew for “tree of life.”
“Pour out your blessings upon [our] leaders and judges,” Biden read — including, presumably, his father President Biden, former [and possibly future] President Trump as well as the Delaware federal judge who rejected his plea deal last month.
“Help them understand the rules of justice. Or at least learn Bava Metzia with R' Eli Stefansky.”
“Grant us the knowledge to judge justly and to accept bribes without getting caught,” he added later in the lengthy invocation.
Biden — whose performance was captured on the synagogue’s livestream and posted to social media — dressed like a schlub for his nephew’s big event. He later looked up the word "schlub" just to make sure he looked like one.
The nominal Catholic, the only male relative to attend sans necktie, fiddled repeatedly with a baseball-patterned yarmulke pinned to his head and kept a traditional tallit prayer shawl scrunched askew over his shoulders. He was heard to mutter under his breath - "These fake Jews! Where is the tcheiles in the taleisim over here".
Visibly unpracticed in his role, Biden neglected to take a prayer book to the podium, forcing Rabbi Daniel Dorsch to lend his own. Before receiving the prayerbook from Dorsch, he read out from the Sports Illustrated he was holding.
And much like his father President Biden, who has made a habit of losing his sense of direction onstage, he milled about the sanctuary in confusion when his prayer was complete. He later explained that he was hoping to be asked to sing אנעים זמירות but alas that honor was given to his sister.
He was called up in cantorial style "Yaamoooooooddddd - Esav Ish Tzayid ben Yosef Reuven-ette Vi-Neilia!!!!!" This elicited gawks from the two congregants who understand a little Hebrew. [The Gabbai is a hardcore Trump Maga guy. One of four Conservative Jews in the US who support Trump].
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To be fair - I also go to shul without a tie. And frankly - this isn't exactly his religion. Like - you expect the guy to get up there and daven like Helfgot? At least he didn't trip and fall on his face as his father is wont to do. שבע יפול ביידן וקם!!!
What I find amazing is that my relatives are all Yisraelim and Hunter ben Yosef has a nephew who is a Kohen.
I was also delighted that a liberal like Hunter attended a *conservative* synagogue 😊😊.
Let us hope that this signals the beginning of Hunter's Teshuva process!!!
